Tag Archives: Fatwa

Big White Father Does the Umrah: Imam Trump Preps for Saudi Trip by Immersing in Studies of Quran and Hadith……

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The Big White Father is heading to the Middle East to bless the natives this week. And the potentates are excited that finally they can deal with a man who “looks real American”, like a Good White Father should look. A man more willing to accommodate their sectarian agenda than the more clever dark one that preceded him. For a stiff nominal fee, of course.
President Donald Trump is flying to Saudi Arabia this weekend, as I posted earlier. His first official visit abroad since taking office, and it will cost his royal hosts dearly. They are already throwing many billions his way in gratitude for the honor of a visit.

But there may be a catch for Donald: the hosts just might want him to fight a couple of new regional sectarian wars on their behalf (something they tried with Barack Obama and failed). While American courts dismantle his first Executive Order banning Muslims from Muslim countries that are not absolute monarchies and/or big weapons buyers from the West.

Mr. Trump has made Islamophobia acceptable and even cool among a large sector of the U.S. population, especially in certain states that cleaved to him in the elections. He has brought it into the White House. Yet he is chairing a summit of many Muslim and Arab countries whose rulers tend to obey or listen to the Saudi royal commands. A coalition of the willing, the bribed, and the coerced. Now, hold onto your seats when you start the next paragraph.

Mr. Trump is reportedly going to make a speech about Islam!
I assume that means he will delve deep into Islamic Sharia, its evolution, the Five Pillars, and how the Quran and the Prophet’s Hadith form the Islamic Faith and its Culture. How it is also to some extent an extension of the Old and New Testaments. He may try to explain its evolution over the fifteen centuries, from the days of Halima Al-Saadiya and the Prophet Mohammed to the current Ottoman Caliph Erdogan the First (why do I feel that I have left out one or two recent Caliphs?).
Which means he will have to cram for it, and Donald doesn’t seem like a cram-able type of student.

He will no doubt focus on the Orthodox Sunni version of Islam, perhaps more specifically on the Wahhabi sub-sect that dominates in Saudi Arabia and all the mosques and Madrassas it builds to spread its ideology of love and freedom around the world. The same sub-sect that spawned the Taliban, Al Qaeda, AQAP, ISIS, and all the terrorist attacks in the United States, Europe, and the Middle East.

As a gesture to his best client princes, those who spend hundreds of billions buying weapons, Mr. Trump might feel characteristically comfortable enough to issue his own Fatwa: that henceforth Wahhabism is the mainstream sect and that it is the closest Muslim faith to Christianity (be it the Las Vegas, New York, or Evangelical version of Christianity).

That in itself should get him more clients for his exports. No doubt his family, kids and in-laws, will make a bundle expanding into the Arabian Peninsula. We might even see a Trump Tower Hotel in the heart of Mecca, catering to faithful pilgrims during the Hajj and the Umrah. Being something of a practical joker, Mr. Trump may even don the Ihram white Toga of the pilgrims and circumambulate the holy Kaaba by special permission, to the serious approval of Their Highnesses the omnipotent Princes.

More on this later…..

Here are a few relevant recent posts of my blog:

The Obama Doctrine….

Persian Gulf Game Theory at Camp David: Obama and State-Sponsored Terrorism….

The Arab Islamic American Summit Comes Up With a Trump Motto: Holy Art of the Deal….

Trump Visits His Wahhabi Empire: Saudis Summon Sunni Arab and Muslim Satraps and Viceroys to Riyadh….

Ignorant Abroad: is Trump Encouraging a Foolish Prince to Start a Sectarian War in the Persian Gulf?….


Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

Kingdom of Delights: ‘Pokemon Go’ Declared a Heretic, Banned by Fatwa…….

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“The decree was issued by General Secretariat of the Council of Senior Scholars on the website of the General Presidency for Scholarly Research and Ifta, Arab News reported Wednesday. The edict actually updates an existing ban on the Pokemon card and video games before they morphed into the mobile phone virtual reality game that has swept the world. The clerics issued the old fatwa, (No. 21,758), 16 years ago, declaring the original Japanese game a form of gambling, which is forbidden in Islam, Sheikh Saleh Al-Fozan, a member of the Council of Senior Scholars, said the virtual reality version of the game is the same as the old one. The game has not been officially released regionally………….”

MuftiSaudi The Mufti vs. Pokemon Go

A Fatwa is a religious edict often issued by Muslim clerics, whether they are authorized or not, that aims at one of several things: (1) keeping the faithful, and the unfaithful, away from sin and abominations (not always the same); (2) making life a bit harder, making sure not everybody is having more fun than they should be decently having (excluding the princes and their minions); (3) making the faithful and the unfaithful aware that the particular cleric exists (not exactly: I Fatwa, ergo I am).

The Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaikh Al Al Shaikh finally had his group issue a fatwa asserting the ban on Pokemon Go in the Kingdom of Fun and Delights. No news about the fate of Pokemon Go in Iran yet: the mullahs have not opined yet. On the other hand, why would they need Pokemon in Saudi Arabia when everybody is having so much fun already?

Meanwhile, in the ultimate Salafi Wahhabi realm, in the Caliphate of Islamic State, I hear they are looking for Pokemons to behead in public in Raqqa and Mosul. You see, Pokey is suspected of being a Shi’a, hence a heretic who is behead-able, whose throat is slit-able by Salafi standards.

FYI: Gambling, gaming, and other types of sin, are banned in Islam, except for princes who can travel to Europe and Las Vegas. Having a palace with walls also qualifies one for exemptions, without reducing their chances at deferred heavenly delights.

Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

Fatwa on Donald Trump and the Republican Dilemma of Arab Princes………

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It is no secret that most Arab princes and potentates would prefer a Republican administration in Washington. That is based on long-standing oil and other mutual business relations as well as on the warlike statements of Republican politicians toward Iran, Lebanon, and others. Most of them believe a Republican would have attacked Iran years ago, something the Saudis openly urged as the Wikileaks cables exposed, although George W Bush declined to do so. On several Middle East issues, they take the same stand as the Israeli Likud rather than the Obama administration.

Yet Mr. Trump presents them with a dilemma in the aftermath of the recent Wahhabi terrorist attack in San Bernardino. Actually even before that attack. You see, they don’t realize that he is unlikely to win the GOP nomination, and if he did he will not win the presidency. Americans have never elected to the presidency a gambling boss with a big mouth who is openly bigoted. Not in the past hundred fifty years anyway. And they are not about to do so now. So the princes worry about his Muslim-baiting and Nazi-like proposals on how to treat Muslims in the United States.

The potentates have not heard of my tweeted Fatwa that by March or April Mr. Trump will be back in the trash-bin of history or on reality TV (both, since he needs the money).  They actually believe he has a chance of winning, and therefore they can’t afford to antagonize him. Hence their official silence from Riyadh to Doha and Abu Dhabi toward his outrageous, politically-motivated, public uttering against their faith.

Of course no U.S. president would do what Trump is proposing, nor would he in the prohibitively unlikely event that he is elected. But going public with such proposals eggs on many people into more violent Islamophobia, especially many Republican voters of the historic know-nothing inclination. In other words the Trump bullhorn makes those so inclined ever more hateful.
Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

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Fatwa on Dynastic US 2016 Election ……….

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My Fatwa for the US ?
Old Corporate Money vs. New Corporate Money = Jeb  vs. Hillary
New Corporate Money Wins…….
     

Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter
[email protected]

A Fatwa on Battered Yemen: Hadi’s Last Look at Sanaa……..

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Yemen‘s weakling former president AbdRabuh Mansour Hadi was elected in a strange election where he had no opponent, arranged by the usual suspects: the absolute princes of the GCC with the accommodating international bureaucracy of the UN looking on. He “won” by an astounding but very typically Arab 99.8% of the vote in 2012: the other .02% of the voters were stoned on election day, or maybe they were the only sober ones. He proceeded to preside over a new/old regime that was as corrupt as any in modern Yemeni history. Lucky for Yemen his reign did not stray far from a couple of cities.
Still under pressure from the resurgent Houthis, he renewed for himself when his term expired in January, something the Arab despots understood and cheered. He was put under house arrest for a few weeks by the Houthis. As soon as the house arrest was eased he escaped, allegedly dressed as a fat woman, and headed for his native region around Aden. A rebellious city General Hadi had bombed and helped conquer for former absolute ruler Ali Abdallah Salih in 1994.
From Aden, he called on the Arab tribal princes, shaikhs and assorted self-styled kings and entitled family field marshals to bomb his country in order to restore him to power. Never mind that he never had much power. Never mind that his foreign allies had neglected Yemen for decades, keeping its people on the verge of starvation as they provided limited aid on political conditions.

From Aden a legend developed about Hadi’s whereabouts last week. He was on a rickety boat to Djibouti. He was on his way to Riyadh. He was living with BinAli and the ghost of Idi Amin in Jeddah. He was holed up somewhere with the slippery Waldo. In the end he did show up smiling and kissing the princes who are bombing his countrymen and countrywomen and country-children. A final shameless act by a stooge.

Whatever happens in this new savage war being waged on Yemen by rich oil princes and their hired Arab mercenaries, however it turns, Generalissimo Hadi has seen the last of Sanaa. He will not be the president of Yemen anymore.
This is my Fatwa, and it is at least as good and valid as any I have seen recently. A Fatwa that is backed by the history of Yemen in the past hundred years, if you bother to read that history carefully………..

Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter
[email protected]

A Sporting Fatwa, a Wahhabi Kosher Fatwa………

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Saudi Arabia is in the throes of a profound theological controversy that evolves around sports. Saudi Prince AbulRahman Bin Musa’ed Al Saud is the president of local sports club Al Hilal (many if not all heads are princes because they can deliver the goodies and they like to lord it over lesser beings). The prince had asked his fans and supporters to pray and beseech Allah to grant his club victory in its coming soccer match against an Australian club.
Enter Herr Doctor Shaikh Sa’ad Al Drayhim, apparently some senior cleric, who issued a fatwa that it is not ‘permitted’ or Halal or Kosher to seek divine intervention in soccer games. This has created the controversy. Apparently most Wahhabi clerics would permit seeking divine intervention, provided it is done within the legal Shri’a rules. Meaning? If it is done after getting permission of the Wahhabi clergy.

And these are the people Mr. Obama said he is proud to “stand shoulder to shoulder” with in Iraq and Syria. These are the people who seek to liberate Syria for democracy and freedom and modernity, preferably via a Caliphate.
Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

[email protected]