Category Archives: Culture

Abbatoirs of Abu Dhabi in Ramadan, US Senate Waging More Muslim Wars by Christmas………

      


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“Preparations for Ramadan and Eid are in full swing at slaughterhouses, which experience a huge increase in business during the month. “This Ramadan more than 60,000 cattle are expected to be slaughtered during the month,” said Mohammed Al Marzouqi, slaughterhouse section head at Abu Dhabi Municipality. “Normally we slaughter about 40,000 a month at the five abattoirs in Abu Dhabi.” Staff are not allowed to take leave for the month and extra hands will be hired, with the number of butchers increasing by 20 per cent and cleaners by 30 per cent. There will be 75 butchers working in Abu Dhabi and Baniyas, and 40 in Shahama and Al Wathba. The automated slaughterhouse will have 45 butchers………………”

So, they hire extra staff in Abu Dhabi for the ‘fasting’ month of Ramadan to prepare more food. In case you were unaware: much more food is consumed during the fasting month of Ramadan than at any other time. Before you heathen kuffar gloat: what is the least spiritual season in Christendom? Yep: Christmas, and it is all downhill from there.
Increased seasonal employment: you’d think it was Macy’s at Christmas. Or Burgundy during the fall harvest season. Or Quetta during the high terrorist bombing season, wtf that be. Or Saudi Arabia during the season when they need more sword sharpeners, or Iran during the peak hanging season.
Or, a better example, the US Senate during warmongering season, as they orate themselves into a frenzy before embarking on another of their unholy wars against another hapless Muslim country. It is expected now: they talk themselves into a frenzy during summer and early fall, with the numbed media playing along, and strike between late fall or spring. (Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Pakistan, Yemen, and Mali are history. Syria is already baking in the oven nicely, tyvm. Iran, the Mother of All Wars, may be saved for next year, after the devil that was Ahmadinejad is transformed through the magic of the mass numbing media into Rouhani).

Cheers
mhg

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Was Superman Jewish? Is Superman Jewish? About the Socialist Haganah…….

      


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“Superman, the invention of two U.S. Jews, is a profoundly Jewish character whose film history is entwined with that of American Jewry…………It’s hard to imagine anyone less Jewish — or more goyish — than Superman. One could point to his white-bread name, his Midwestern origins, his hypermasculine physique, his feats of strength and his overall Man of Steel status. Yet Superman was the creation of two American Jews, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, who envisioned him as a conceptually Jewish character……………….”

I am not sure about this. When Superman first landed on Earth and was adopted by a Christian family in the flyover rural Midwest, even Jews would not have identified any Jewishness in his character. He was so physical and apolitical, he was not even a socialist.
Anyway, now the Muftis and shaikhs (Shaikh Al, Shaikh Qaradawi, et al) will have another beef with the Man of Steel, even if he is now claimed to be kosher and halal. One thing in his favor with the shaikhs: he never joined a kibbutz and the Haganah in Palestine. As far as we know; but Hollywood is not done with Superman, never will be.

Cheers
mhg

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Controversial Film about the Prophet in Iran, Clerics in Mecca Pissed…….

         


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Iranians seem to have a knack for producing controversial historical films about ancient Prophets, with actors depicting these ancient worthies. Naturally any historical film in the Middle East, especially about the Prophets of Islam and Christianity and Judaism, is controversial. The Ten Commandments is still banned in all Arab states, but then so is Sodom and Gomorrah and Ben Hur; even Lawrence of Arabia is banned although I never knew T.E. to be a prophet. The last one was about Joseph (son of Jacob, not the carpenter), which had Salafis attack some television studios in North Africa for showing it. Among many Muslims, well among some of us Muslims, such depiction is considered blasphemous.
Among Wahhabi Salafis, any depiction or facsimile or controversial mention of any ancient character other than Saudi kings and princes is considered blasphemous. Iranian mullahs, apparently, are not of that “blasphemy” school of thought where films are considered.
Now it seems the “big no no” is being tested. A dusty organization called the International Association for Muslim Ulema (a bunch of clerics), wtf that be, has protested against the plans of an Iranian film company to produce a film representing the personality of the Prophet Mohammed. The clerics, located at Mecca, are pissed and have asked the Iranian government to prevent production of the film, to be simply titled “Mohammed”, and ban its showing. The ulema said that such film will besmirch the high status of the prophet and will harm his position and may even expose the Prophet to “ridicule”. The ulema noted that it is taboo to have prophets impersonated by actors.
No doubt the ulema have not read the script for the film (nor have I). But the ulema in Mecca are always pissed about something, except repression and the mind-boggling corruption around them in the Holy City and in the whole kingdom.
I think the only ridiculous characters here are probably these clerics who are afraid of anything new, of their own shadows. As for the taboo on actors impersonating the prophets, perhaps they can get a Saudi prince top play the role: he won’t be taboo. Now that Charlton Heston, with his cold cold hands, is dead.

Cheers
mhg

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For Those of you Who Love Halal and Kosher Calamari…………

         


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“A friend told me the other day that she’d heard a horrifying report on public radio: You know those deep-fried, chewy rings of calamari? Sure. Well, they’re sometimes served in imitation form, made from slices of a pig’s rectum. Wait … what?! And so it happened second-hand, as these things almost always do: An urban legend hatched and spread its wings……… There were no eyewitnesses at all, in fact, and all the other evidence was circumstantial: A recent activist report found signs of modest seafood fraud—one kind of fish mislabeled as another—and a taste test showed that switching rectums for calamari might indeed go undetected. Calhoun did not try to hide the weakness of his case: “Just to repeat one last time,” he said at the close of his radio script, “I have no proof that anyone, anywhere, has ever tried to pass off pork bung as calamari in a restaurant…. …”…………..”

The no-no part is the pork. Otherwise most cultures have a dish that includes the basic, er, alimentary parts of an animal. They have it in the Middle East, in Latin America and elsewhere. Usually it is included within a soup or stew: the Gulf and Iraq Pacha (lamb) or Hispanic Menudo (beef), among others. Of course the squid (khithag in my hometown), from whence the Calamari comes, also has ‘organs’, both for input and output (among other things). I think I shall list this under “Culture”. Still, consuming the tail end of a pig is a tough one to swallow (I will not be rude enough to call it pork rectum rinds). Even if one is a non-halal non-kosher ‘heathen’.
Perhaps the next link may help in this matter:

“A South Korean woman was enjoying a plate of calamari when she suddenly felt a painful “pricking, foreign-body sensation” in her mouth. It was later revealed that twelve squid spermatophores had embedded themselves in her “tongue, cheek, and gums.” Squid A Day at Science 2.0 describes spermatophores as “cups of semen”……..”

Cheers
mhg

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Jackasses of the Middle East: Agents Provocateurs of Upper Egypt……..

         


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Another jackass starts a war. A district in Minya in Upper Egypt was the scene of a dispute that erupted into a deadly battle. The battle was caused by an ass (of the donkey variety) trespassing family farms without permission. As a result a gun battle ensued between two families in adjacent villages in which a cattle trader and a farmer were killed and three others wounded. Three cattle barns were also burned. Investigation showed that the dispute was started when the unnamed ass (donkey) trespassed the farmlands of Ali and consumed a quantity of fresh feed. Ali got pissed and started a fight with Mohammed who called his relatives for help. Thus ensued the violent incident.
 
I know I have not posted much on asses (donkeys) lately, even though I am partial to the four-legged variety. I am also quite familiar with the two-legged asses (donkeys) even though I am not fond of them. We have plenty of both in our region, and this statement should not be taken as a comment on anyone in Syria or Bahrain or Saudi Arabia or even Jordan and Lebanon.
Anyway, I have decided to add links to some of my previous posts that are related to asses, jackasses and donkeys (and others):


Donkey Milk, Donkey Brain: Middle East Gender Gap

African Zebras and Middle East Donkeys, Asses and Power from Damascus to the Gulf

Those Underrated Powerful Asses of the GCC States

Cities of Asses: from Damascus to Conquered Hispaniola

Valentine and Equus Asinus in the Middle East- Damascus The Ancient City of Asses- The Revered Donkeys of Egypt- What About George Washington?

Those Underrated Powerful Asses of the GCC States

Rumi: Iranian Cleric Mixes Bestiality with Politics

Political Animal Planet: An Assembly of Jackass Penguins of Patagonia

Obama’s Colombian Donkey Gift, Asses of the Middle East

Political Donkeys of Kurdistan, Jackasses of the Gulf, Harry Belafonte

When Saudi Asses Opined on Egyptian Happiness, Cyprus Donkeys

The Dog, the Cow, the Ass, and Arab Leaders

Middle East Anthropology: Abused Donkeys, Elite Jackasses, Rabbits and Rats

A Churchillian Twist on Bush Economics- On Plebeian Jackasses, Middle East Politics, Netanyahu, and CPAC 2009

Noble Donkeys of Egypt, Real Middle East Assess, Vive le Roi

King of Bahrain Congratulated for Paying Gulf Newspaper to Award Him Meaningless Prize

Cheers
mhg

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Babylonian Jews of Afghanistan? Avigdor Ibn Qutada Al Lieberman? WTF…………

         


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“A batch of 1,000-year-old manuscripts from the mountainous northern reaches of war-torn Afghanistan, reportedly found in a cave inhabited by foxes, has revealed previously unknown details about the cultural, economic and religious life of a thriving but little understood Jewish society in a Persian part of the Muslim empire of the 11th century…………The texts are known collectively as the Afghan Geniza, a Hebrew term for a repository of sacred texts and objects. They were written in Hebrew, Aramaic, Judeo-Persian, Judeo-Arabic and Arabic, and some used the Babylonian system for vowels, a linguistic assortment that scholars said would have been nearly impossible to forge. One text includes a discussion of Hebrew words that are spelled the same but have different meanings. Another is a letter between two brothers in which one denied rumors that he was no longer an observant Jew. There are legal and economic documents, some signed by witnesses, recording commercial transactions and debts between Jews and their Muslim neighbors, and other mundane yet illuminating details of daily life like travel plans. One missive between two Jews, Sheik Abu Nasser Ahmed ibn Daniel and Musa ibn Ishak, dealing with family matters, was written in the Hebrew letters of Judeo-Persian, but had an address in Arabic script on the back, presumably for the benefit of the Muslim messenger. One document has a date from the Islamic calendar corresponding to the year 1006. The most important religious text among those acquired by the National Library is a fragment of a Judeo-Persian version of a commentary on the Book of Isaiah originally written by the renowned Babylonian rabbinic scholar Saadia Gaon, a previously unknown text. A sliver of it has been sent to the Weizmann Institute of Science in Rehovot for carbon dating. The exact source of the documents is murky………………”

Sheik Abu Nasser Ahmed ibn Daniel and Musa ibn Ishak? Indeed: Jews of those days often had Arabic or Muslim first names, or at least they were known by some Muslim first name. Just as they often have “Christian” first names in the West now like Richard or Steven or Jedediah or Etienne (wtf). Come to think of it, so do the Chinese or Cambodians and others in the West.
Now if the ancestors of Lieberman, Avigdor not Joe, had not wandered and ended up in Molodva or thereabouts, then he’d probably be known as Avigdor ibn Qutada Al Lieberman (okay, scratch the Lieberman part). Come to think of it, even Joe Lieberman would probably be known as Yusuf ibn Ikrimah ibn Saud Al Lieberman (again, scratch the Lieberman part). And he’d probably have a better looking chin than he does now.

Cheers
mhg

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Lords of Turkey, Shaikhs of Scotland, Downton Abbey of Anatolia……………

         


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“5,000 people in Turkey, including a number of famous figures, have obtained a “lady” or “lord” title from the Kincavel region of Scotland since March 2012, according to private broadcaster CNN Türk. A company in Scotland is selling lady and lord titles for 25 U.K. pounds, and the service was brought to Turkey last year. “While I was looking for an extraordinary gift for my girlfriend I found out that a company in the U.K. gave ‘lord’ and ‘lady’ certificates for those who bought one meter-squared of soil in the Kincavel region of Scotland. Afterwards, I contacted the company and took control of Turkish distribution in March 2012,” said Turkish entrepreneur Faruk Kurtoğlu. “Since that time, 5,000 Turks have obtained a legal ‘lord’ or ‘lady’ of Kincavel certificate,”………………”


I knew of a couple of young people in the Gulf who had purchased titles from England some years ago. That was some years ago. Apparently there is/was a way to purchase titles from some English earls who would rather have the money.
 
But Turks buying questionable titles? I had thought the Turks had more sense than parting with Lira’s for that. That was a shocker when I first read it in Hurriyet. Imagine, a manor in Anatolia with Turkish lords/officers and the dames agonizing over war and peace and love and money, Downton Abbey in Turkish: Lord Ahmet Davutoğlu, Earl Erdogan, Baroness Turkish Delight (at home on the Gulf we’d call her Chabdat El-Faras which is our term for Turkish Delight, the sweet edible variety, back home).
In that case maybe some of our regional shaikhs and princes (and even mullahs) can start selling their titles, provided there is the demand.

Cheers
mhg

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Iranian Cinematic Dichotomy: from Ancient History to Depicting Life under a Theocracy……..

        


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“Iran is planning its own version of the Ben Affleck movie “Argo,” The New York Times reports, upset about what it calls the Hollywood flick’s “Islamophobia.” The movie, to be called “The General Staff,” is expected to give an accounting of the 1979 Islamic revolution and the U.S. hostage crisis from the perspective of the Iranian regime. It will reportedly be directed by Ataollah Salmanian and financed by the Iranian government’s Art Bureau. “This film, which will be a huge production, should be an appropriate answer to the film ‘Argo,’ which lacks a proper view of historical events,” Salmanian reportedly told the Iranian news agency Mehr this week. Iran’s revolutionary students sparked a political crisis in the United States when they took 52 American diplomats hostage for 444 days and contributed to former President Carter’s resounding loss…………….”

The Iranian cinema industry, the part that the outside world is aware of and watches, seems to be moving along two main tracks.
On the one hand are the superb acclaimed films produced by independent free-spirited film makers, some of which have won international acclaim and awards. The last one was “A Separation” that got an Oscar last year. These films have survived and thrived under the theocracy, perhaps because film-makers have to be creative to deliver their critical message under state scrutiny and censorship. But some of these artists are also in prison for supporting opposition protests and others are in exile and the censors are reportedly becoming more intrusive. Artists everywhere are by nature wary and skeptical of politicians, and for good reason.
On the other hand there are epic historical films that are sponsored by the government. Cecil B. DeMille type films. Usually many of these officially-sponsored films evolve around ancient historical figures and events, including prophets (cinematic impersonation of prophets seems to be acceptable in Iran although it is not allowed in most other Muslim countries). Iranian films are also sometimes produced as a reaction to, and to counter, some Western films involving Iran. (My own favorite Middle East films were those old ones produced in Egypt, up until the 1960s. After that it has been mostly a steep downhill slide in quality for Egyptian cinema).
I have posted a few relevant links here, for your reading and (mainly) for my own archival
purposes:


Holy Moses? Official Iranian Film Digs up Ancient Zionists, Snubs the First

Regime Cinema: the Iranian Obsession with British Plots

Clint Eastwood in Iran: From Spaghetti Westerns to Chelo Kebab Westerns

Creativity in a Theocracy: One Iranian Film on its Way to the Oscars

Cheers
mhg

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From America to France to the Middle East: Active Generals and Risky Sex, Catfights and the Federal Religious Police …….………

   


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                                Neck of the woods

“The FBI is making a new push to determine how a woman who had an affair with retired Gen. David H. Petraeus when he was CIA director obtained classified files, part of an expanding series of investigations in a scandal that also threatens the career of the United States’ top military commander in Afghanistan. Senior law enforcement officials said that a late-night seizure on Monday of boxes of material from the North Carolina home of Paula Broadwell, a Petraeus biographer whose affair with him led to his resignation last week, marks a renewed focus by investigators on sensitive material found in her possession. “The issue of national security is still on the table,” one U.S. law enforcement official said. Both Petraeus and Broadwell have denied to investigators that he was the source of any classified information…………….”

The Petraeus media reports highlight the cultural differences between various parts of the world. Besides all the strange FBI investigations of a private affair and the house raids (at least one so far), there the broader issues. You’d think the FBI are the American equivalent of the Saudi Commission for the Propagation of Vice (the Religious Police,) the way they have undertaken to dismantle not only the professional lives but also the private lives of the people involved. All for being involved in a relationship that is not against the law. So let’s compare:


  • USA. Freedom of consensual liaisons between adult humans is guaranteed. But the remnants of that old Puritan Ethnic are hard to shake off. The shadow of John Winthrop hangs over many hooked up couples, whether they were in the back of a car in the old days or in a motel or a hotel, or at someone’s home. Americans concede that ‘it’ is part of life, even most Republicans concede that, but it is wise not to get caught doing it. If an aggrieved partner or rival doesn’t bloody you, then there is the brutal schadenfreude, which can and does ruin the ‘afterglow’. Then there is General Allen, who exchanged emails with some other chick. He called her ‘sweetheart’ and the Religious Police apparently interpreted that as tantamount to consensual sex. Shouldn’t these guys be catching terrorists, real or created or encouraged, rather than worry about emails and bedrooms? Then there are the and drug lords and traffickers , etc., etc.
  • France. Sex is a red line in France, even if it often becomes public. It is not haram to have sex before, during, after, inside, outside, and around marriage. It is haram to meddle in it, ban it, moralize about it, or use it in politics. A general can have all the mistresses he wants, all the mistresses who are willing to seduce him, all who accept his “attentions”, all that he can afford, as long as he performs well in the field (field of battle or whatever it is French generals are supposed to do at the office). That is part of French-ness: the French Tea Party and the French Salafis would insist on it. French Evangelicals would insist on it. Even Marine Le Pen would insist on it.
  • Britain. The Brits get really kinky and off the “beaten track” in their sex scandals of high officials. Quite interesting for a people known (perhaps mistakenly) for eschewing public sex. The mildest scandal involves at least hookers (i.e. prostitutes) and progresses to foreign spies, Russians, Chinese, Abominable Snowmen, and it degenerates and gets worse (or is it considered “better” over there). 
  • Middle East. Oh, never mind. Forget about it. In some ways we are more advanced: we have institutionalized it all. You can get thrown in prison or flogged publicly for being alone with a woman in a car or at the beach or even at a cafe in some countries. Yet a General Prince Bin Technocrat Al-Kleptocrat can lead his ‘private’ life as he pleases without, er, interruption. So can a Field Marshal Shaikh Bin Kleptocrat Al-Technocrat. But we also have our public solutions to the natural order of things. Polygamy, temporary marriages, part-time marriages, sex-only no-cohabitation no-responsibility marriages, and other creative “halal”, “kosher” if you prefer, sexual arrangements that take care of it all. We are, after all, more moral and holier than thou (that means you heathens).


Cheers
mhg

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GCC: Francophone or Hindi-Phone Qatar, South Asian Gulf, Le Dauphin Salman, Le Roi Hamad WTF……………

   


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                                Neck of the woods

“There was a time when most French couldn’t place Qatar on a map. Now, Qatar – a small Gulf state with marginal ties to French culture – is a member of an international Francophone organization. Some have raised eyebrows at Qatar’s new Francophone identity since it has just expelled the director of a secular French lycée from its borders………….. Qatar became a Francophone country with a blink of an eye. Without fulfilling any of the conditions to become part of the organization, the IOF gladly obliged the emir’s request and officially inducted Qatar as a full “member-state” last month. This caused quite an uproar within the IOF and the French media, especially in light of the fact that Qatar was immediately accepted as member-state, without having to go through the “observer” stage that many of the new inductees had to go through. Some news sources reported that Qatar “created a pressure group within the IOF – particularly among some African countries – to support its membership bid.” Meanwhile, frustrated IOF officials pointed out that Qatar was not even a Francophone country to begin with to deserve directly becoming a member-state.…………..”

I believe that the languages spoken by an overwhelming majority of people in Qatar are Hindi and Urdu and Bengali (with some Tagalog and Persian and Pashtu). That is because some 80% or so of the people in Qatar are foreigners and a majority of these are Asians who are not speakers of Arabic (or French for that matter). Clearly the Qataris, who are focusing on investments in France, have bought themselves an undeserved but quick membership in the Francophone group. I wouldn’t b surprised to see the Al-Nahayan brothers who own and rule the United Arab Emirates (UAE) decide to join the Francophone group: they also have an overwhelming majority of Asians who do not speak Arabic. And they also have deep pockets.
Come to think of it: an overwhelming majority of people who live on the southwestern shores of the Persian Gulf are not Arabic speakers. How does the Indian Gulf sound to you? How does the United South Asian Emirates sound to you? How does the South Asian Gulf Cooperation Council sound to you?
Question: will we soon have French-ified names and titles for our Gulf potentates? Will Qatar be rule by L’Emir Hamad 1er? Will Bahrain be ruled by Le Roi Hamad WTF? Will Abu Dhabi be ruled be Les Frères Al-Nahayan? Better yet, will Saudi Arabia be ruled by Le Roi Abdullah et Le Dauphin Salman?
Finally: how does one say WTF en Français?

Cheers
mhg


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