Suddenly the Caliphate of ISIS has disappeared from the headlines all across the United States. It is like some giant hand has pulled a giant switch toward “off” before the weekend. From cable TV to the major networks to printed media. Even online: the headlines are no more about ISIS or Kenji Goto. Even Benyamin Netanyahu and his not-very-diplomatic sleeper mole deep inside the U.S. Congress have been pushed back.
Back in Mosul and Raqqa the pious Jihadi upper echelon huddle over maps and headlines trying to figure it out. What has sucked the air, media air, from the Caliphate? At least in America, Reagan’s city on a hill they dream of sacking, they are below the radar now. Abu Bakr al-Samarrai and his Wahhabi and Chechen and European aides point the finger at a small point on the map. A place they, and most other people on earth, have never heard of: Phoenix.
What is this holy Super Bowl that now pre-occupies America? Is it like the funny little bowls their priests dip their fingers in during their Satanic rites? Is it like their other holy shopping seasons? Christmas? Black Friday? And who are these Seahawks and Patriots and Goodell? And what are New England and Seattle? What about Deflategate and Las Vegas odds? What about this new mantra I hear:”I’m just here so I won’t get fined, boss“? What do these strange words mean?
One young man, a graduate of another faraway place called Tempe, whispers in the ear of the Caliph. He nods, strokes his beard, looks thoughtful and summarizes it:
“I see. It is a temporary deliberate madness created by a powerful cabal called the N.F.L. They aim to get the people to spend more money buying things they would be embarrassed to wear for the rest of the year. To create the illusion of common interests and equality. And to divert attention away from the glories of the Caliphate. Let’s us wait until after Sunday. Meanwhile, we should all watch this Super Bowl tomorrow. I root for Seattle, WTF that be……..“.
Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum