Category Archives: WTF

Culture, GCC, Israel, Kuwait, Mossad, WTF

Kazakhstan’s Real National Anthem, Hava Nagila and Hatikvah on the Gulf………….

    

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“Алтын күн аспаны,

Алтын дән даласы,

Ерліктің дастаны,

Еліме қарашы!

Ежелден ер деген,

Даңкымыз шықты ғой.

Намысын бермеген,

Қазағым мықты ғой!……...” Kazakhstan National Anthem

“Kazakhstan’s shooting team was taken by surprise when a spoof national anthem from the film Borat was used at a medal ceremony in Kuwait. The team demanded an apology after Maria Dmitrienko was played the obscene song, which features lyrics about prostitutes and potassium exports, as she received her gold medal……. The blunder apparently occurred after the event’s organisers downloaded the parody from the internet by mistake. They also got the Serbian anthem wrong. An apology was issued and the ceremony staged again. The incident was the second in the space of a few weeks involving a slip-up over Kazakhstan’s anthem at a sporting event. Earlier this month, stunned officials opening a ski event in northern Kazakhstan were blasted with a few bars of Ricky Martin’s Livin’ la Vida Loca instead of the national tune……….”


No big deal, but it is funny, straight out of a film by you know who.
It’s a good thing the Israelis don’t compete on the Gulf. Some meshugenah in Bahrain might mistakenly play “Deutschland Über Alles”. An uber faux pas. Apparently the Kazakhs are having trouble getting their national anthem played properly, and not just in Kuwait; even at home. These things happen, it happens.
I recall some years ago back home when the national television surprised everybody one night by playing a bunch of Israeli dancers and singers doing a hearty rendition of “Hava Nagila”. It was not supposed to have been broadcast, but at least it wasn’t “Hatikvah”. There were a few lame explanations by the media, including that Mossad may have been behind it. In retrospect, they could have done worse, sometimes they did.
Cheers
mhg


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Arab Revolutions, Arabian Peninsula, Religion, Salafi, Saudi Arabia, WTF

Paid Fatwa: Using Allah in Politics…………

    

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“She said: “Kings, when they enter a country, despoil it, and make the noblest of its people its meanest thus do they behave….…..” Holy Quran, Surat al-Naml (The Ants)

“The protests in Eastern Saudi Arabia have been ongoing for several years now; the protesters from the Saudi Shiite minority, a majority in the Eastern province, are only demanding end of all forms of discrimination in public and private sector jobs, improved housing (some live in shameful slums), and a ban on incitement against their faith. The hard-line religious establishment opposes any reforms, and continues to consider Shiites heretics. Recently, and when asked on the proper punishment for protesters, the Saudi Mufti cited the following verse from the Quran:
“The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: that is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the Hereafter“. (below, a photo of Saudi’s mufti)…………”

The royally-paid always-accommodating Grand Mufti said: “execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land“. Nice Effing Mufti, huh?
Yet that is what is being done in the kingdom without magic, except it is easier nowadays to shoot and torture and imprison them. Waging war against oppression and corruption is twisted as waging war against God. Of course, that Hadith applies more to the princes and their retainers, for it is they who wage war against God by disobeying Quranic and Hadith rules against oppression and corruption and hypocrisy. By their very existence they disobey Islamic rules against the rule of kings and princes.

FYI for my new readers only: His Muftiness Shaikh Abdulaziz Al Al Shaikh is
a relative of that other Shaikh Al Al Al Shaikh who heads the Saudi Commission
for the Propagation of Vice (religious police). They are both relative of that
other Shaikh Al AL Al Shaikh who used to be the Saudi Minister of Justice,
among others. All these Al Al Shaiks are descendants of Mohammed Bin Abdulwahab
of Nejd, after who the Wahhabi sect is named. They have been close allies of
the al-Saud clan, sometimes more than just allies if you get my drift. Mr.
Mohammed Bin Abdulwahab should not be confused with the late great Egyptian
musician and singer Mohammed Abdelwahhab, who was no Salafi, not even a
Wahhbai, but an Egyptian-style bon vivant.


Cheers
mhg


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Iran, Israel, Syria, WTF

Israel-Iran-Syria Psych War: a Strange Announcement of a Strange Plane, about Hess……….

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“The Israeli military says a drone that can fly as far as Iran has crashed in central Israel on a routine experimental flight. The military says there were no injuries in Sunday’s crash, and it was investigating the incident. The Heron TP drone is also known locally as the Eitan. It has a wingspan of 86 feet (26 meters), making it the size of a Boeing 737 passenger jet. It is the largest unmanned aircraft in Israel’s military arsenal. The drone figures to be featured prominently in any potential Israeli operation against Iran and its expanding nuclear program………”

This is a strange ‘incident’, if all these details are true. Why would they need a “drone” the size of a Boeing 737? What does it have to do with Iran? Do they plane to drop the whole Netanyahu cabinet over Tehran? Then will it still be a “drone”? And why announce these details by a military that is usually secretive? And was it really an Israeli drone? Was it the Assad cabinet of Syria seeking a deal a la Rudolph Hess?
And how is all this related to the 1994 attempt by James Woolsey (former CIA director) to land a plane on top of Bill Clinton?
Cheers
mhg


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Bahrain, Culture, GCC, Human Right, Saudi Arabia, WTF

Love and Marriage and Repression in Abu Dhabi and the GCC…….

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“The UAE nationals have been advised not to marry foreign women due to social, legal and financial complications which arise following such marriages, said a renowned lawyer. Speaking at the Noor Dubai Radio, CEO of Bin Haider Advocates & Legal Consultants in the UAE, said a large number of cases are pending before the courts due to such marriages. He pointed out that the young men marry foreign women not to make family but to get rich. But if the husband’s income gets depleted, the foreign wives create problems which lead to court cases……… He said a decree by His Highness Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, President of the UAE, fixed it at Dh50,000 which applies only in case of marriages with the Emirati women. While the marriages of UAE nationals with foreign women will be subject to what was agreed upon in the marriage contract with regard to alimony………….”

The potentates on the Gulf love to meddle in such private matters as marriage. The Bahrain royals are an exception for being less intrusive: they are too busy gassing, beating, and shooting their people (or throwing them in prison or handing them to imported Jordanian or Iraqi Ba’athist torturers). The Saudi princes don’t allow their ‘normal’ citizens to marry foreigners without government approval. It is seriously frowned upon. One can get fined heavily if one marries a foreign woman (or even a man) without royal approval. We are talking tens of thousands of Rials. But there is some hope: the man can always appeal to the king for an exemption (I hear he has a soft heart for true love, especially in cases of multiple polygamy). Besides, for true love there are always the Turkish novellas: I hear even the royals are attached to them.
The potentates of the UAE have been tightening the screws, really no pun intended here. (Really it is the al-Nahayan of Abu Dhabi that boss the others around). They have been trying to ‘regulate’ marriages and block citizens from marrying foreigners (mostly UAE men marrying foreign chicks). Other GCC states have also grappled with this issue; at least one regime has been threatening to form a government commission to look into these cases. This is one thing the GCC potentates can agree on: unify their marriage standards and laws. While at it, they may revisit the polygamy issue: the potentates and their Salafi shaikhs are experts on that (talking marriage here).
Cheers
mhg


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Cairo, Egypt, Salafi, WTF

Pictorial Egypt Parliament: One Saudi Guy, Three Sleeping Guys, Two Browsers, no Partridge on a Pear Tree

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This above picture of members of the new Egyptian parliament at the opening session. It shows a bunch of bearded guys, all duly and freely elected. Yet what I see are:

  • one skinny Saudi guy (bottom left with the red shmagh ghutra) who looks like Osama Bin Laden’s former driver or a flunky of some prince,
  • three sleeping guys (possibly polygamists),
  • two guys pretending to be awake,
  • one bearded guy (in the back) who is probably a fan of Beyoncé browsing YouYube.
  • One can’t judge a book by its cover, not most of the time.
  • Still: WTF is the Saudi guy doing in the Egyptian parliament?Why can’t he run for the oxymoron-ic Saudi parliament?


Cheers
mhg


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Arab Counterrevoltion, Arab Revolutions, Human Right, Muslims, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Syria, WTF

Middle East Worst Four for Freedom and Civil Liberties: Saudi Arabia, Syria, Somalia, and Sudan……….

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“A total of 26 countries registered net declines in 2011, and only 12 showed overall improvement, marking the sixth consecutive year in which countries with declines outnumbered those with improvements. While the Middle East and North Africa experienced the most significant gains—concentrated largely in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya—it also suffered the most declines, with a list of worsening countries that includes Bahrain, Iran, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Syria, the United Arab Emirates, and Yemen. Syria and Saudi Arabia, two countries at the forefront of the violent reaction to the Arab Spring, fell from already low positions to the survey’s worst-possible ratings…….Worst of the Worst: Of the 48 countries designated as Not Free, nine have been given the survey’s lowest possible rating of 7 for both political rights and civil liberties: Eritrea, Equatorial Guinea, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan………”

Always the majority of the worst in Freedom House ratings are Arab and/or Muslim countries. The worst declines were in the Middle East. Of the last ones up there, the worst of the worst, seven of the nine are Muslim states, and four of those worst are Arab states (Saudi Arabia, Syria, Somalia, and Sudan). We all knew that most these states were not sweethearts, but the worst of the worst? The Worst-est? Way down there with North Korea? And they all start with S? Which deserves a resounding: WTF!
Cheers
mhg


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Arab Revolutions, Human Right, Libya, U.S. Congress, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy, WTF

Colonel Qaddafi on Free Speech and Insanity: Green Book and the U.S. Supreme Court………

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The Late Mua’mmar Qaddafi: “An individual has the right to express himself or herself even if he or she behaves irrationally to demonstrate his or her insanity. Corporate bodies too have the right to express their corporate identity. The former represent only themselves and the latter represent those who share their corporate identity………”

Mitt Romney: “Corporations are people too, my friend.”(Romney being warm and fuzzy in a way on a Republican politician knows how).

I was intrigued by Qaddafi’s assertion about a ‘corporation’ having the right to express itself. The justices of the U.S. Supreme Court must have read the Colonel’s Green Book before they ruled the very same thing exactly two years ago. The Supremes referred to the First Amendment to hand the 2010 U.S. midterm elections to corporate money and to the Tea Party wing of the GOP.
As for the part about ‘freedom to express’ one’s insanity: that also makes me wonder if most of these Republican presidential candidates have read Qaddafi’s Green Book on this very topic. I mean some of them talk during their debates as if they are no saner than Colonel Qaddafi was. Yet the colonel was much more amusing than, say Gingrich or Romney. Perhaps not as amusing as Rick Santorum, but close, whose name may be misinterpreted by the ignorant to mean that he is too sane for his own good..

Cheers
mhg


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Ali Khamenei, Human Right, Humor, Iran, Israel, Jordan, Middle East, WTF

A Very Funny Iranian Political Story…….

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“There are unconfirmed reports that the qualifications of 30 to 40 current MPs, who had registered to run for the March parliamentary elections, have not been approved by the government’s appointed executive committees, the Mehr News Agency has learnt. The qualifications of the parliamentary candidates have to be approved by the mentioned committees, the Interior Ministry, and the Guardian Council respectively. These MPs were initiators of controversial proposals at the parliament……….”

This Iranian news agency has a subtle sense of humor. Political humor should be subtle in the Middle East, it is safer that way (except in places where humor may not exist anyway, like Jordan and Gaza and possibly the West Bank and Israel). It says the qualifications of these listed members were not approved (not yet, hints that maybe not later either) for the March elections in Iran. It also says that these members were “initiators of controversial proposals at the parliament”, wtf that may mean. Yet it seems as simple as putting two and two together (2+2=4, normally, except when it is inconvenient).
Cheers
mhg


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Europe, GCC, Humor, Nutrition, WTF

WTF: Serbia bans Alcohol in Parliament, GCC to Follow?………….

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Serb deputies drinking        They may look stoned out of their f–ing heads, but they’re stone sober.


“The Serbian parliament has banned alcohol after media reports of excessive drinking, a top official said Friday. “The ban applies to every one without exception, from bringing in alcohol, to serving or consuming it,” Veljko Odalovic, the parliament’s secretary general, told the Tanjug news agency. “Both restaurants in the parliament will no longer serve alcohol, it is absolutely forbidden,” he added. The new rules included a ban on anyone who is drunk from entering the parliament. Some health officials here estimate that one in six people in Serbia have a drinking problem.………”

Now for some Middle East legislatures to emulate these good Serbs. Especially on my Gulf. The Saudi rubber-stamp fully-appointed, anally-retentive Shoura Council should start by quitting the vast quantities of coffee and tea they imbibe at public expense. The rump Bahrain parliament (normally about 30% freely elected, now about 10% elected) can give up all that unhygienic kissing (of you know what and where). The rest of the Gulf, especially the Salafis and Muslim Brothers among them, can stop drinking any Vimto immediately. As for the Yemenis, there will always be some qat.
Cheers
mhg


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Culture, WTF

Bon Appétit en chinois: Deadly Pussycats of Guangdong…………

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“The tycoon was famished, the hot-pot stew was bubbling, and the flesh floating in the broth was feline. But in the end, cat meat was not what killed billionaire forestry CEO Long Liyuan a few hours after he consumed the delicacy. It was poison……… In a case that would make even Sherlock Holmes lose his appetite and has triggered an uproar among Chinese animal-rights activists, police in China’s southern Guangdong province, notorious for its love of eating “everything with four legs except desks,” detained one of Long’s dining companions last week in connection with his death on Dec. 23. It appears the suspect, Huang Guang, the deputy director of a local forestry office, had led the tycoon and another associate to the restaurant after visiting a wooded area that was for sale. The authorities allege that once they had ordered the cat dish, Huang stepped away to make a phone call and then surreptitiously made his way into the kitchen. There he sampled the cat meat, announced it needed to boil longer and asked the restaurant owner to go buy some drinks while her husband was off buying cigarettes. Alone at the stove, Huang then dropped the deadly herb Gelsemium elegans, which grows wild in China’s forests, into the hot pot…………”

All I can say is: Bon Appétit.
(FYI : we are dining at P.F.Chang tonight, but there will be no red meat on the table. Not tonight, not for a few days. How about you ? imagine Machboos Gtawa!)
Cheers
mhg


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