Category Archives: Israel

Humor, Iran, Israel, Middle East Nuclear, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy, War on Iran

Breaking News: Netanyahu Claims War Imminent, Neuman Skeptic, FedEx and DHL………

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                                           BFF                                         Gen. Alfred E. Neuman (Ret)

في يوم في شهر في سنة
في يوم في شهر في سنة .. تهدى الجراح وتنام
وعمر جرحي أنا.. أطول من الأيام
وداع يا دنيا الهنا .. وداع يا حب يا أحلام
دا عمرو جرحي أنا ..أطول من الأيام

عبد الحليم حافظ (or Netanyahu flirting with war)

Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu declared that his famous long-anticipated “existential” war with Iran was imminent. He said it could come within days, or weeks, or months. When cornered by reporters he added that it could potentially start within a year or two or three. When cornered again, he admitted that it all depends on how resolute the “international community” (aka the United States, aka Obama) will be.

On the other hand, retired General Alfred E. Neuman opined that a war against Iran can be a piece of cake, if only the dour ayatollahs don’t fold too soon, cry uncle, and FedEx all their enriched Uranium to Mooney (Ban Ki-Moon). The general stressed that “We ought to tighten the sanctions, to forestall this FedEx option, also DHL, foreigners use DHL a lot, to make sure not one iota of enriched material goes through. Old Saddam tried to explain that he had no enriched material, no wmd, even allowed Blix and ElBaradei in, those old fellow traveling Commies, but we got him anyway, on a technicality”.
Cheers
mhg




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Hezbollah, Iran, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Terrorism, US Foreign Policy, War on Iran

Another Iranian Embassy Plot, Ministry of Thwarted Overseas Terror Plots………..

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“Authorities in Azerbaijan, a former Soviet republic bordering Iran, have arrested two men suspected of plotting to attack prominent foreigners including Israel’s ambassador and a local rabbi, officials and media reported on Wednesday. The National Security Ministry said the men were connected to an Iranian citizen who had links with Iran’s intelligence. Azerbaijan, a secular Muslim country, is home to more than 9,000 Jews and has friendly ties with Israel and the United States. A major energy producer, it exports oil to Israel and imports weapons and military hardware. “Citizens of Azerbaijan – Rasim Aliyev and Ali Huseynov – were preparing an attack on public figures, who are foreign citizens,” the National Security Ministry said in a statement. The U.S. embassy issued a warning to its citizens saying “the possibility remains for actions against U.S. or other high-profile foreign interests in Azerbaijan”. The announcement came after several state websites in Azerbaijan were rendered inaccessible for hours this month by hackers who left threats and anti-Israel messages. That incident coincided with similar cyber-attacks in Israel……..”

WTF? In Azerbaijan? Another Iranian plot against some other embassy? I wonder how the dictatorship in Azerbaijan feels about all this. If this continues the mullahs would have to add the picture of a generic embassy in the middle of the Iranian flag. Truly when it rains it pours. They must have a whole ministry in Tehran in charge of plots against foreign targets that are never realized: it must be called the “Ministry of Thwarted Overseas Terror Plots”. The Iranians, though, probably think this ministry might only exist in the imagination of Western and Saudi media, possibly planted there by bored employees Western (and Saudi) security services.
(I haven’t seen any statement of outrage from  Senator Secretary Clinton yet. Maybe I missed it. Maybe even she is getting suspicious of all these alleged plots.)
Cheers
mhg


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Iran, Israel, Middle East Nuclear, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy, War on Iran

Cacophony of War: Iranian Generals, Israeli Generals, American Generals, and Alfred E. Neuman……..

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BFF                                  Alfred E Neuman


“In a ceremony on Saturday, the production line of a new domestically manufactured naval missile system, named the Zafar (Victory), was officially launched and the first batch of the missile system was delivered to the Islamic Revolution Guards Corps Naval Force…”

“The ground troops of the Islamic Revolution Guards Corps (IRGC) started the war games, entitled Supporters of Velayat, in south Iran on Saturday. IRGC Ground Forces Commander Mohammad Pakpour said on Saturday that the maneuvers are part of a series of professional drills by the forces under his command. The war games will put on display part of the capabilities of the ground forces in the face of threats against Iran, …..”
 
“Israeli general Joe Schmo stated that Iran has all she needs to build a nuclear weapon.”
 
“Israeli former chief dogcatcher insisted that Iran is still three years away from…..”

“Former editor in Chief of Mad War magazine quoted the Vice President of the Academy that all options are on the table as far as who will win the Oscar for best director…..”

“General Alfred E. Neuman, former chief o the Cuckoo’s Nest Brigade, stated that a war can be devastating ……”

Three things are becoming tedious and boring, and they go on day after day, week after week:

  • One is the stream of Iranian announcements of new weapons developed, new weapons tested, and new military exercises in the Gulf. We can add to them reports of Iranian space projects and drones. Much of it is aimed at deterring a Western war of aggression.
  • The other one is the incessant statements and counter statements by Israeli generals and politicians and the same by American politicians and generals about Iranian nuclear progress and when and how and if they will attack Iran. These are all over the place, often contradictory, always confusing: none of them clarifies anything for the average person. None of them clarifies anything for the non-average person.
  • These statements are either meant to confuse the average person or those who issue them don’t know what the fuck is going on.

Cheers
mhg


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Iran, Israel, US Foreign Policy, War on Iran

The Split Personality of Leon Panetta: Driving the Iranian Mullahs Crazy………

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“Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta is one of several administration officials to express concern publicly that Israel is positioning itself for a surprise attack. Last month, the administration dispatched the Joint Chiefs chairman, Gen. Martin E. Dempsey, to the Israeli capital for high-level discussions about the possibility of a unilateral Israeli strike. “Israel has indicated they’re considering this, and we have indicated our concerns,” Panetta told reporters Thursday after a NATO meeting in Brussels. Panetta declined to comment on published reports that he thinks the Israelis could carry out a strike this spring, possibly as early as April…………”

 

“US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta believes there is a “strong likelihood” that Israel will strike Iran’s nuclear installations this spring, the Washington Post said Thursday in an editorial. When asked about the opinion piece by reporters travelling with him to a NATO meeting in Brussels, Panetta brushed it aside…………”


I wonder if the Iranian leaders are as befuddled, as lost in this fog of war and no war, of good cop and bad cop. Their heads must be spinning from all the conflicting statements form American and Israeli officials, named and anonymous. It has become like a war of wits and nerves, similar to the one that preceded the invasion of Nazi Europe at Normandy in 1944.
If Israel starts a war, the United States will get involved: what else can Obama do in an election years with the American Likud Party (GOP) hounding him? Some Arab countries will also have to get involved on the Israeli side: otherwise how can Israeli bombers reach Iranian territory? The most like candidate would be Saudi Arabia, whose semi-official media have been preparing their people for this with years of sectarian propaganda. Pro-Saudi media on the Gulf have also been opining that Iran is more dangerous than Israel as an enemy, for now. Neither Iraq nor Turkey will allow over-flights, if they can help it.
Of course they can be just applying the advice given by Tom Friedman a couple of years ago: make the Iranians think that they will be attacked if they don’t obey, then they will obey. It hasn’t worked yet, and unlikely to do so nay time soon. Or maybe it is just part of a process of desensitization of public opinion, such as it is, for another war.
Cheers
mhg


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Iran, Israel, Syria, WTF

Israel-Iran-Syria Psych War: a Strange Announcement of a Strange Plane, about Hess……….

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“The Israeli military says a drone that can fly as far as Iran has crashed in central Israel on a routine experimental flight. The military says there were no injuries in Sunday’s crash, and it was investigating the incident. The Heron TP drone is also known locally as the Eitan. It has a wingspan of 86 feet (26 meters), making it the size of a Boeing 737 passenger jet. It is the largest unmanned aircraft in Israel’s military arsenal. The drone figures to be featured prominently in any potential Israeli operation against Iran and its expanding nuclear program………”

This is a strange ‘incident’, if all these details are true. Why would they need a “drone” the size of a Boeing 737? What does it have to do with Iran? Do they plane to drop the whole Netanyahu cabinet over Tehran? Then will it still be a “drone”? And why announce these details by a military that is usually secretive? And was it really an Israeli drone? Was it the Assad cabinet of Syria seeking a deal a la Rudolph Hess?
And how is all this related to the 1994 attempt by James Woolsey (former CIA director) to land a plane on top of Bill Clinton?
Cheers
mhg


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Israel, Latin America, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy

Florida Race Tightens: Disrespecting Obama and Motherhood before Netanyahu and Cuba……..

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The Florida Republican race is reaching the home stretch. it is desperation time for the Republican candidates. The focus shifts to the special interest groups. The talk is about Space, Israel, and Cubans longing for the days of Batista. Last debate they talked about who would hire the most “Latinos” in their administration. Then there always lurks Netanyahu:

Romney: I’d hire Netanyahu if he were not Israeli prime minister.

Sanrotum: There you go again, disrespecting Netanyahu. You should be ashamed of yourself talking like that about a great American patriot. I’d hire Netanyahu even while he is PM of Israel. Hell, I’d hire him even if he were an Iranian ayatollah.

Romney: I like patriots too. I’d never disrespect Netanyahu. It is Obama who is always disrespecting Netanyahu. I would never do that, not while running for president, for heaven’s sake. I’d rather disrespect my own mother and the intelligence of the American people than Netanyahu, at least until November 2016.

Santorum: I don’t believe you. Anyway, I’d also hire Luis Clemente Faustino Posada Carriles (aka Bambi).
So there, you try beating that.

Gingrich: He sounds like a great Cuban-American and a good Catholic. I’d have to ask Callista first.

Ron Paul: I wouldn’t hire Netanyahu if he were the only man available for the job. Not unless he can bike for 27 miles, which he can’t because they don’t have a 27 mile stretch in that whole place over there. I’d rather send Netanyahu, along with Newt and all the rest of you pandering schmucks to that new moon base Newt and Callista are building.
Cheers
mhg


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Israel, Middle East, Palestine, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy

Romney and Gingrich and GOPP: Kissing Netanyahu’s Ring, Kissing History Goodbye………

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Quotes from Republican candidates at the Florida debate last night:

“ROMNEY: Well, the reason that there’s not peace between the Palestinians and Israel is because there is in the leadership of the Palestinian people are Hamas and others who think like Hamas who have as their intent the elimination of Israel. And whether it’s in schoolbooks that teach how to kill Jews, or whether it’s in the political discourse that is spoken either from Fatah or from Hamas, there is a belief that the Jewish people do not have a right to have a Jewish state. …… I think he (Obama) disrespected Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu……..”
 
Romney doesn’t give a fig about Netanyahu, He probably recognizes him for the political hustler and serial liar that he is; he probably admires him, if at all, for these qualities more than his being a statesman (he is not). What Romney meant to say was that Obama disrespects the New York and New Jersey and other northeast retirees in Florida. He is appealing to all the Jewish elderly retirees in south Florida, normally a strong Democrat bloc of voters.

“GINGRICH: It was technically an invention of the late 1970s, and it was clearly so. Prior to that, they were Arabs. Many of them were either Syrian, Lebanese, or Egyptian, or Jordanian……… ……..”

Funny, when I was a kid at school, many of my teachers were Palestinians: that is what everybody called them. Well before 1970. Gingrich supposedly studied history, so presumably he knows that he is lying here (as do most of his listeners, possibly even a few of the Republicans in the audience).
GOPP: Grand Old Pandering Party.
Cheers
mhg


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Britain, Iran, Israel, Middle East Nuclear, Mossad, nuclear Iran, Saudi Arabia, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy, War on Iran

Short Western Memories: Khomeini, the Chemical West, and the Bomb………………

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“The Israeli President warns us now that Iran is on the cusp of producing a nuclear weapon. Heaven preserve us. Yet we reporters do not mention that Shimon Peres, as Israeli Prime Minister, said exactly the same thing in 1996. That was 16 years ago. And we do not recall that the current Israeli PM, Benjamin Netanyahu, said in 1992 that Iran would have a nuclear bomb by 1999. That would be 13 years ago. Same old story. In fact, we don’t know that Iran really is building a nuclear weapon. And after Iraq, it’s amazing that the old weapons of mass destruction details are popping with the same frequency as all the poppycock about Saddam’s titanic arsenal. Not to mention the date problem. When did all this start? The Shah. The old boy wanted nuclear power. He even said he wanted a bomb because “the US and the Soviet Union had nuclear bombs” and no one objected. Europeans rushed to supply the dictator’s wish. Siemens – not Russia – built the Bushehr nuclear facility. And when Ayatollah Khomeini, Scourge of the West, Apostle of Shia Revolution, etc, took over Iran in 1979, he ordered the entire nuclear project to be closed down because it was “the work of the Devil“. Only when Saddam invaded Iran – with our Western encouragement – and started using poison gas against the Iranians (chemical components arriving from the West, of course) was Khomeini persuaded to reopen it………………”

Even within the short span of the past year we have heard and read several different conflicting assessments of the Iranian nuclear program:

  • It is military. No, it is civilian. No, it is both.
  • They are zeroing on the nuclear bomb. They have not decided yet.
  • They already have everything the need for a bomb.
  • They will have a bomb this year. They will not have a bomb until at least next year.
  • They won’t be able to before 2014, or is it 2015.
  • The IAEA says they have suspicions, but no proof, that it is possible that the Iranians may be thinking of perhaps maybe looking into the possibility of  staring to think of the probability of the degree of feasibity and applicability of the likely scenario of …………..
  • Dagan of Mossad says they have not started the bomb yet.
  • Netanyahu says they will have a bomb soon and that Ahmadienjad is worse than Hitler, will continue to be worse than Hitler even after his term expires and he leaves office in 2013.
  • Ehud Barak says war is closer unless the Iranians relent. Ehud Barak says war is months away. When asked about it, Ehud Barak responded “what war?”
  • They want to be able to build a bomb whenever they want.
  • But Ahmadinejad said they don’t want a nuclear bomb.
  • The Saudi princes, who never ever lie, are convinced they are building a bomb. So are their Salafi muftis.
  • The shaikh (sorry, king) al-Khalifa of Bahrain is certain they are building a bomb. Foreign minister al-Khalifa of Bahrain (aka Bon Vivant) is taunting us, saying “are you going to take that from the mullahs?” WTF that be. Several other al-Khalifa potantates seem to concur with the two already mentioned.
  • Shaikh Mohammed Bin Rashid of Dubai says he does not believe the Iranians are building a bomb. He thinks they have no reason to. Besides, he says “Even if they did, who gives a fuck”?
  • The al-Nahayan brothers of Abu Dhabi who own the UAE want the United States to attack the Iranian, and be quick about it.
  • The ayatollah has issued a fatwa against nuclear weapons.
  • Obama, since he is only secretly a Muslim, can’t openly abide by the Khamenei fatwa.
  • Newt Gingrich says their goal is to attack the United States.
  • Rick Santorum insists he had a vision that their aim is to establish a Persian Caliphate in all the Blue States, before sweeping through Georgia.
  • Ron Paul thinks everybody this side of the Atlantic (and some on the other side) are out of their minds. He is most likely right.

Cheers
mhg


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Anti-Semitism, Europe, Iran, Israel, Middle East

Netanyahu and Ahmadinejad and the Holocaust: Demagoguery and Spreading the Bull……….

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“Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, citing the lessons of the Nazi Holocaust and the danger a nuclear-armed Iran, said on Tuesday that Israel must not shy from acting alone to thwart any threat to its existence. Addressing parliament ahead of International Holocaust Remembrance Day on January 27, Netanyahu praised a European Union decision on Monday to place sanctions on Iranian oil exports. “But on this day of international cooperation and an important achievement against Iran, I want to remind everyone of the main lesson of the Holocaust against our people – that ultimately when there is threat to our existence, we must not leave our fate in the hands of others,”………”

Ahmadinejad used to specialize in near denials of the Holocaust. He taunted the West, especially the Europeans who were the planners and executioners and enablers of the Holocaust, with his nonsense. He knows exactly what happened so many decades ago in Europe, what was committed by the parents and grandparents of these Europeans, from Berlin to Krakow to Warsaw to Paris and other places. Not just by Germans: local police forces helped their new German masters round up their own Jewish neighbors to be shipped ‘east’. They were barely less guilty than the Gestapo and the Waffen-SS and even the Wehrmacht. Only about two decades ago, Austria
elected a known former Nazi officer as president (before that he was
their foreign minister then secretary general of the United
Nations!).
Yet his taunts are understandably insulting to the memory of the victims and to their descendents. One dreads what he will say later this week. Mercifully he has been silent on the subject for over a year; maybe someone told him it is not endearing. Maybe he will choose to shut up for once, being embroiled in more important issues at home.
Which brings us to that other Middle Eastern demagogue, Mr. Netanyahu. It is hard to take seriously, or find credible, someone who famously claims that “Ahmadinejad is worse than Hitler“.
Netanyahu has in recent years made quite a political art of using the terrible memory for his own political ends. He is an accomplished expert at what Americans call ‘spreading the bull’, and he knows how to spread it far and wide. In pushing for a destructive war in the Middle East, away from his own borders, he is willing to use any means. He is not being as disrespectful as Ahmadinejad, not nearly so, but he seems to exploit the memory in order to maintain the far right-wing uncompromising coalition that keeps him in power.
Cheers
mhg


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Israel, Middle East, U.S. Politics, US Foreign Policy

(3) Mitt Romney and the Middle East……….

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Mitt Romney hasn’t expressed any solid core position on foreign policy regarding the Middle East. Nothing that diverts much from the usual republican positions. That can be good or it can be bad. He has many former GOP ‘experts’ on his advisory staff but only one of them is from an Arab (non-Muslim) background. He has expressed the usual mandatory love and admiration and adoration for Benjamin Netanyahu. But that is now a necessary thing for all GOP candidates, actually for all Democrat politicians as well. Kissing Netanyahu’s ring has become bigger than kissing the ring of the German veteran who sits in Rome, in the Fisherman’s shoes. He has, however promised that Iran will never get a nuclear weapon as long as he is president. That is the closest thing to a definite policy he has expressed. (Oh, and he has refused to promise to re-invade Iraq, which means McCain and Lieberman will have to do it solo).
Cheers
mhg


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