Category Archives: Egypt

Al-Azhar, Culture, Egypt, Flatulence, Humor, Islam, Sharia

Al Azhar and the Academic Laws of Physics: Sharia Rules on Human Gases………

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They are mocking Islam and the Sharia. No, not the usual European bigots and the usual suspects among extremist American Islamophobic pop-intellectuals. This is a report on once-respected institution turned nearly ridiculous. Al Azhar, established almost a thousand years ago by the Fatimid Dynasty in Cairo.

Egyptian media are very obedient and respectful toward the regime and all its institutions these days, but other Arab media report an interesting alleged new development. The staid and usually respectable Al-Azhar has awarded a doctorate degree to a Shaikh F.S. (?) in Sharia and the Law. He received an overall A for his thesis which dealt with what he called “benign gases” that are emitted by humans (and other animals), also popularly known “fart”, or ضراط in Arabic (no insult intended to the Arab League and its meetings). His thesis dealt with these gases from a theological point of view. He argued that there are certain rules in the Shari’a that specify carefully the smells of the gases that would nullify the pre-prayer ablutions, as well as the number of seconds that the “fart” lasts in which case it is considered nullifying for pre-prayer ablutions.

Shaikh F.S. (you figure the name out) specified the smells (of emitted human gases) that would nullify pre-prayer ablutions as follows: farts that have the flavor/smell of eggs, onions, Pastrami, or cabbage. Every other emitted gas is considered benign gas, unless the emission lasts more than 4 seconds and the sound it makes is higher/louder than 30 decibels.

I thought you might want to know. That the once venerable Al Azhar is trying to keep up, encouraging the use of the laws of physics into the Sharia………..

If all this is in fact true…………

Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter
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Arab Politics, Arab Revolutions, Arabian Peninsula, Egypt, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Yemen

Princes of La Mancha: Saudis Still Seeking Hired Foreign Forces for Yemen…….

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“Pakistan’s parliament on Friday unanimously approved a resolution promising the country will stay neutral in the conflict in Yemen, despite Saudi requests for Islamabad to participate in the coalition fighting Shi’ite Houthi rebels. Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif had summoned the emergency joint session to debate a Saudi request for Sunni-dominated Pakistan to send its warships, planes and ground troops to help the Saudi-led military coalition. A heated debate continued for five days, as many lawmakers strongly opposed any Pakistani military intervention in Yemen. They feared such a move would fuel sectarian tensions inside Pakistan………..”

Saudi Deputy Deputy Crown Prince (who is also Minister of Interior) Mohammed Bin Nayef Al Saud flew to Turkey last week. The common assessment is that he wanted Turkish help in the military operations in Yemen. That came just before President Erdogan flew to Tehran. Erdogan had blasted Iran for its alleged interference in Yemen (and other places), but after his Saudi and Tehran meetings he moderated his comments. Turkey is mostly Sunni, which means the sectarian-oriented Saudis think it can provide “Sunni” military help. The problem is that only about 75% of Turks are Sunnis, and the Turks could develop an Alevi or Shi’a problem that has been so far dormant, especially in the south.

Last weekend, Saudi defense minister, the youngster Mohammed Bin Salman Al Saud flew to Egypt for meetings with his Egyptian counterpart, and possibly with Al Sisi. The Egyptian media has been gung-ho last week on intervention in Yemen, complete with headlines about the “Shi’a threat” to Egypt. Egyptian media are rarely subtle and almost never into due diligence, and some of them even accused “Shi’a and Iranian” agents of terrorist acts in Sinai. Yet Al Sisi seems hesitant about sending his soldiers into Yemen to fight for the Saudis. Some Saudi Wahhabi opposition groups, those who support ISIS and Al Qaeda, claim that he is holding out for more money from the princes. Yet Egypt has a history in Yemen that it would not want to repeat.

Pakistan under the Nawaz Sharif administration was seen as a reliable source of mercenary troops to fight the Saudi war in Yemen. Yet Mr. Sharif has met with Turkey’s Erdogan and with the Iranian FM Zarif last week. After which he threw the ball in the court of the Pakistani parliament with a request to authorize intervention. The Saudis are reported by some media to have asked for “Sunni” soldiers. But Pakistan is some 20% Shi’a (about 30-35 million of them), and it is already facing sectarian terrorist acts in some major cities. The Pakistani parliament voted this week unanimously against “renting” their army to the Saudi princes. After which Anwar Gargash, a minor state minister in the United ِArab Emirates played his best card. The UAE minister threatened that Pakistan will pay “a cost” for its decision not to join the war on Yemen. Meaning financial blackmail.

This leaves Egypt, which has been monitoring the Turkish and Pakistani developments. The only country among the three which has had experience fighting in Yemen in recent times. Will Field Marshal Al Sisi jump into the fray and provide canon fodder, at the “right price”?

Stay tuned………….

Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter
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Arab Revolutions, Egypt, GCC, Saudi Arabia, War, Yemen

Arab Despots Finally Find Someone They Think They Can Defeat, Poorer Arabs……..

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The princes of the Persian Gulf countries must have spent almost a trillion dollars on weapons and related services in the past decade or so. Many princes and potentates and their families have accumulated huge fortunes from commissions and kickbacks (never called bribes in polite mixed company) on these arms deals. I and others have often commented that these weapons are imported and left to rust in the desert, unless they can be used for repression and crowd control.

Now the princes and potentates are setting out to prove me and others wrong. They have finally found someone they think they can beat on or so they think. So they are carpet bombing the major cities of the poorest Arab country outside Africa, Yemen. As long as they stick to aerial bombing they are doing fine from their point of view, killing Yemenis and destroying Yemen.

They may, they should, hesitate to actually enter the land of Yemen: they have tried it before and got whipped, both the Saudis and their Egyptian sidekicks. Still, they may decide to end this curse of Yemen by using imported mercenary armies as cannon fodder, or Houthi-fodder. Pakistanis, Jordanians, Egyptians, Moroccans, and perhaps Bengalis. People the princes deem expendable.

They are crowing, these entitled princes, in their media that they are achieving a great victory, from a distance. As they kill and destroy their neighbors. Soon it will be time for the pop corn as the real battle is joined on land.

Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter
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Arab Politics, Egypt, Kuwait, Persian Gulf, US Foreign Policy

Egypt and the Gulf: Myth of Egyptian Role in the Persian Gulf War…….

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“Egyptian President Abdul Fatah Al Sissi has reportedly launched a damage control operation to ensure that his country’s relations are not affected by the alleged audio recording suggesting that Egyptian officials close to him viewed Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) countries with disdain. The conversation between Al Sissi who was then minister of defence and two aides, released on Saturday, includes remarks that some Gulf countries were half states, that they had more money than they needed and that Egypt should adopt a strict policy of give-and-take with them. It also includes verbal personal abuse of the Emir of Qatar…………..”

More about the Sisi Tapes. Sisi and his aides said the Egyptians should be tougher with countries ‘we liberated or helped liberate’ from Iraq. This is a misconception (actually almost a lie) that Egyptians keep repeating and now they may believe it. The Kuwaiti and Gulf media are too polite or timid to deny it directly. Egypt was very helpful but it did not actually liberate, nor did any other Arab country or army liberate Kuwait. Nor were they capable then, nor are they capable now of liberating anyone. The sheer logistics would have paralyzed them. It is the “Piss-up in a Brewery” syndrome that I am fond of referring to occasionally here.

Don’t get me wrong. Egyptian was very helpful and Egyptian public opinion was overwhelmingly against the Iraqi invasion and occupation in 1990-91. That enabled the Mubarak regime to send forces. Egyptians, unlike Jordanians for example, were never admirers of Saddam Hussein. I was in Cairo right after the war, and public opinion seemed strongly supportive of their ‘participation’.

Kuwait was mainly liberated by the Americans (boys and girls and Christians and Jews and Muslims and Vegans and Agnostics, among others). With some help from other European allies, especially the British. The Arab contingents that were sent to Saudi Arabia were just for window-dressing: the Americans thought it would help with Arab public opinion.
Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter

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Arab Politics, Egypt, GCC, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia

Sisi Tapes: Sisterly Talk, Brotherly Gibberish……..

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“Egyptian President Abdul Fatah Al Sissi has reportedly launched a damage control operation to ensure that his country’s relations are not affected by the alleged audio recording suggesting that Egyptian officials close to him viewed Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) countries with disdain. The conversation between Al Sissi who was then minister of defence and two aides, released on Saturday, includes remarks that some Gulf countries were half states, that they had more money than they needed and that Egypt should adopt a strict policy of give-and-take with them. It also includes verbal personal abuse of the Emir of Qatar…………..”

“The Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud received a telephone call today from Egyptian President Abdulfattah Al-Sisi. During the conversation, they reviewed bilateral relations between the two sisterly countries as well as the developments of situations at the regional and international arenas. The Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques confirmed to the President the stand of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia by the side of the government and people of Egypt, and that the Kingdom’s position towards Egypt’s stability and security is firm and never changes, adding that the ties binding the two sisterly countries are an example to be followed in the strategic relations and common cause. He also indicated that the relation between the Kingdom and Egypt is beyond any attempt to disrupt the distinguished and firm relations between them……….”

These Sisi Tapes have gone viral on Arab social media, even as most controlled Gulf GCC and Egyptian media ignore them. Al-Jazeera, being a Qatari network, was quick to publicize and publish the tapes. Among what Generalissimo Al Sisi and his top aides said according to the tapes:

– “these are ‘half-states’, or half-countries”

– “Some of their (GCC) rulers have more money than their countries have”

– “billions to dollars that to them (to the rulers) are like grains of rice, they have so much”.

– “Egypt will ask for payments of $10 billion each from Saudi Arabia, UAE, Kuwait”. In addition to deposits at the Egyptian Central Bank.

– “The billions of demanded payments will be deposited in the accounts of the Egyptian army“.

– Sisi said they should be tougher with these countries after “we helped ‘liberate’ them from Iraq”. This is a misconception (actually a lie) that Egyptians keep repeating and now they may believe it. It is true what Sisi and aides mentioned about Syria: that the Syrians who also sent a symbolic brigade were more aggressive in asking for money in 1991. They certainly were. I will have more on this later.

Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter

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Arab Politics, Egypt, Saudi Arabia

Hyperbole Arabica: Saudi-Egyptian Ties to Last Until the Dinosaurs Return…….

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Egypt’s Shorouk News quotes the Saudi ambassador in Cairo making a strange statement. Supposedly a prescient statement. He is quoted as saying that Saudi Arabian policy towards Egypt will not change until the Judgement day (or End of Time).
He might have added: until the regime changes or until the dinosaurs return……….

After that, all bets are apparently of.
Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter

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Arab Revolutions, Cairo, Egypt

Bloody Tahrir: A Tale of Two Murdered Women……….

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KuwaitCox2   Shaimaa El Sabbagh                                                                     Shaimaa dying in the New Egypt…..

Remember in 2009, during the Iranian protests after the disputed re-election of former president Ahmadinejad? A young woman named Neda Agha Sultan was shot dead on the street. Western media, especially in the USA, covered her death extensively. She was headlined in cable television and printed media and social media, and rightly so. Oddly some guy who claimed to be her fiance was even shown in Israeli media meeting with president Shimon Peres.

Now back to 2015 (and the photo up there). Just before the anniversary of the January 25, 2011 attempted revolution in Egypt. A known female activist named Shimaa El Sabagh was shot dead by Al Sisi security agents. She died in her husband’s arms. I don’t see her anywhere on the usual cable TV networks. Nor have I seen any of the many thousands who were killed by the current military regime in Egypt………

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Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter

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Arab Politics, Egypt, Human Right

Generalissimo Al Sisi Opines on the Tooth Fairy and the Opposition………

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Generalissimo Field Marshal President Al Sisi of Egypt came to power in 2013 as a result of military coup he staged against the man who had promoted him to minister of defense and army chief. He was “elected” with almost 98% of the sparse vote last year. He ran against a token phony opposition.
The Generalissimo has just opined that “there are no political prisoners in Egypt“. He also said that “making peace with the Muslim Brotherhood is not my decision, it is not in my hands“.
He was not talking about the tooth fairy in his first statement; there are tens of thousand of political prisoners in Egypt. His second statement about the MB might be true. He probably can’t reach a deal with the MB, not unless he wants to lose all that Saudi and UAE oil money that has been promised to him if he keeps a lid on free speech and on the the opposition of all stripes.

In the meantime, he seems to have lost control of a chunk of the northern Sinai Peninsula to groups of Jihadis, kidnappers, and smugglers.
Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter

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Cinema, Culture, Egypt, History, Jews

Censoring the Exodus: Big Moses and Little Yahweh…………

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Have Yourself a Merry Little——-> Kenny G. Holiday 

Yesterday I saw the new Exodus film (Exodus: Gods and Kings) at the local complex. I saw the Imax 3D version. Quite different from the two older versions of the story of Moses, including the second Cecil B. DeMille one with Charlton Heston. The basic outlines of the story are the same; that we’ve all read in the Quran and the Bible. The special effects were superior, of course, but probably not superior to the, er, real ancient exodus? The main ‘Egyptian’ characters in the film did not look very ancient-Egyptian, most of them looked more ancient Jewish or Italian. The masses of Jewish slaves in the film looked more Mexican or Yemeni.

One more interesting aspect of the film. God, or Yahweh, is depicted as a little boy. He looks a lot like The Boy in Striped Pajamas, but cleaner and healthier.

I am certain this film will not be seen in theatres in Egypt or in any other Arab country. Once there may have been a remote possibility such film might be seen in parts of Beirut and Tunis, but that is not possible now. The older DeMille version was never allowed in any theatre in the region. Partly because in most Arab countries impersonating a prophet is not allowed: Salafis severely frown upon even the impersonation of people close to the Prophet (the Sahaba who were just ordinary folks with no holiness about them). Another important reason has to do with perceived modern political implications for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Although every Muslim school kid reads the story of Moses and the Exodus in the Quran.

Besides, we can’t have a film showing a bunch of Jewish slaves beating Egyptians, although the Egyptians of those times were pagan king-worshiping sister-marrying types, and were not even Arabs. Bad enough they have been beating on Egyptians and other Arabs, and handily, for sixty-six years now (with one exception in Lebanon and we know who that exception is).

Ours is an extremely sensitive region. Sensitive in some respects but not towards repression and official violence, from Bahrain to Egypt. Other films deemed “sensitive” have been banned in the past, even some that were reportedly filmed in Arab countries. Like Lawrence of Arabia and Cleopatra. Cleopatra? WTF……………..
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Mohammed Haider Ghuloum                          Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter

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Arab Counterrevoltion, Arab Revolutions, Egypt

R.I.P: Egypt Finally, Officially, and ‘Legally’ Buries the Tahrir Uprising………..

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Over the holiday here, an Egyptian court in Cairo and absolved former dictator Hosni Mubarak of charges in the killings of thousands of Egyptian civilians. The court also absolved the minister of interior, the man who hired and gave orders to the police, security agents, the goons, and assorted torturers and killers who pulled the trigger and wielded other instruments of pain and death. Not counting some of the military.

Egypt‘s Al Sisi, “elected” with almost 98% of the vote in restricted and sparsely-attended elections, said he “accepts” the decision by “his” court, which ends legal action against the former dictator. He joked that Egypt must look to the future and not the past.

Thus the cruel comedy, the thin masquerade that a successful uprising, a revolution, occurred in Egypt, is put to rest. The royal Arab princes and potentates will not be disappointed by this development which they fully expected because they have already paid its price in billions of petroleum money. Media photos showed minions of some Gulf potentates celebrating the final absolute death of the Tahrir Uprising in the court room.
Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

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