All posts by Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

Dr. Mohammed Haider Ghuloum: trained as an economist, been called a few other names..... الشرقية للبنين- المتنبي- ثانوية الشويخ
Indonesia, U.S. Politics

Bill Maher and the Insulted Orangutans? Was Donald Trump Born on Borneo?…………

         

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                             Kissing cousins: wait till Orly Taitz gets hold of this

“A comedian, a millionaire and an orangutan. It may sound like the beginning of a screwball joke, but Donald Trump isn’t laughing. The famously outspoken real estate magnate has sued famously outspoken television host Bill Maher, demanding the $5 million Maher offered to give to charity if Trump could prove his father is not an orangutan. But legal experts say Trump is unlikely to get a dime from Maher, the host of the HBO series Real Time With Bill Maher, because his offer was clearly made in jest.”It’s parody,” said Bryan Sullivan, a Los Angeles entertainment lawyer. “You know Bill Maher is a comedian and a satirist. The offer is so ridiculous.” Trump, however, has taken the comic at his word. “Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan,…………”

But how do we know that this Fred Trump was not a native of Indonesia? Given that Orangutans come from the area around Borneo and Sumatra, both part of Indonesia, is it not likely that Trump Sr. was also an Indonesian? Possibly not very far from where Barack Obama himself spent some time as a child. Which raises the question of the true birthplace of Donald Trump and the genesis of his evil haircut.

Cheers
mhg

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Arab Revolutions, Bahrain, Terrorism

After Saudi Arabia and UAE: Iran and Lebanon and Iraq and Azerbaijan to Invade Bahrain…………

         

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“Bahrain has dismantled a “terrorist cell” linked to Iran, Iraq, and Lebanon, the interior minister said, slamming what he called “escalation” in the kingdom as the Shiite opposition intensifies its protests. Security services “have, with the help of a brotherly country, arrested the members of a terrorist cell made up of eight Bahraini elements,” state news agency BNA late Saturday quoted Interior Minister Sheikh Rashid bin Abdullah al-Khalifa as saying. The eight “moved between Iran, Iraq and Lebanon and received training in using arms and explosives as well as financial aid,” he said. “Details about the case will be announced as soon as the investigation is completed.”……………”

A new terror plot aimed at blowing up the huge King Fahad Bridge with a sack of dynamite. Plots to blow up communications towers (according to Shaikhs Rashid Al Khalifa and Fawaz Al Khalifa, the latter the Gauleiter of media and communications. Possibly a whole passel of other Al Khalifa. No news of yet of any involvement by the Texan Arbabsiar or the Mexican Drug cartels. But stay tuned.
Like a clockwork, always on time. The Al Khalifa almost regularly uncover the same plot over and over again, every few months. You’d think they are facing the Viet Cong or the Free Syrian Army of the Jabhat Al-Tibin. It is always a plot by Iran and Lebanon and Iraq and occasionally Syria (this time they left out Syria) with the aim of overthrowing the apartheid regime in Bahrain as a first step toward taking over the Persian-American Gulf then eventually taking over the West, as a prelude to conquering the world, (including Texas). The miserable Al Khalifa shaikhs are all that stands in the way of these plots and success. Occasionally these plots are joined by hapless American and European and even GCC parties, at least according to Field Marshal Al Khalifa bin Montgomery of El-Alamein von Rommel Abu Stalin.

These plotters are always countries with majority or plurality Shi’as that are charged. Yet they forgot to add Azerbaijan. They must have thought the Azeris are either Wahhabis or Russian Orthodox (some of them are but not the Haider Aliyevs).
 
The Iranians would like to influence events in Bahrain, perhaps meddle, no doubt. Everybody else is meddling, even the Pakistains and humorless Jordanians (through their mercenaries and hired murderers). But the ruling family and the Saudi occupation forces are providing the mullahs with their best opportunity in many years.
Cheers
mhg

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Arab Revolutions, Bahrain, Weapons deals

Europeans for Freedom, Democracy, Espionage, and Arab Police States…………

         

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“Mr. Muhafdha continues to fight for human rights even though the Bahraini government has clamped down on any opposition, intensifying its electronic surveillance. “No matter how I communicate, they know,” Mr. Muhafdha said in an interview. “The regime has sophisticated electronic surveillance equipment allowing it to spy on everything we do by social media, e-mail and phone.” In a bid to prevent European companies from selling such equipment to Bahrain, the Bahrain Center for Human Rights, Reporters Without Borders and other nongovernmental organizations took action this month. They filed a complaint against two companies at the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, which represents the developed economies. The O.E.C.D. has guidelines for “responsible business conduct,” including human rights. Its National Contact Point offices in the member states try to encourage businesses to observe the guidelines and encourage individuals or organizations to complain about questionable business practices. The two companies in question are Gamma International, which is British-German, and Trovicor, which is German…………..”

The regime in Bahrain keeps getting weapons, teargas, armored vehicles, and sophisticated means of espionage. In other words, everything the ruling Al Khalifa family needs to control the people of Bahrain and crush their protests. The Obama administration is selling them ‘some’ equipment while allowing allies in Turkey and the Humorless Kingdom of Jordan and Saudi Arabia to supply them the rest. The Obama administration likes to pretend to be taking the high moral ground, while it keeps the flow of the means of killing and repression going.
The British Cameron government is the worst offender: it acts as if this is the 1950s and 1960s, when British governments supplied the weapons and the personnel to keep the people of Bahrain oppressed by the Al Khalifa clan and their tribal retainers. The jailers and killers of Bahrain are now regularly received at 10 Downing Street and at Buckingham Palace and publicly feted. In Washington it is low key: they are quietly snuck into the White House for brief chats (I hear that sometimes they are met only by minor functionaries like the White House chef or First Dog Bo Obama).

Cheers
mhg

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Canada, Donkeys and Asses, ethnic cleansing, Jackasses

Asses of Columbus Straddle the Rio Bravo del Norte, O Canada…………..

         

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“In 1495, the ass first appeared in the New World brought by Christopher Columbus. Shortly after America won her independence, President George Washington imported the first mammoth jack stock into the young country. Despite these early appearances of donkeys in American society, the donkey did not find widespread favor in America until the 1800…………….”

So what it says is that the donkey (ass, jackass) arrived in America with Columbus. I am not sure how many priests sailed on those three ships. Yet three centuries later, the asses had replaced the natives of the new world. More than that: they dominate both houses of the U.S. Congress, especially the House of Representatives. Not to mention that they dominate and rule most countries south of the Rio Bravo del Norte. And north of it: I almost forgot Mr. Stephen Harper of Canada.

Cheers
mhg

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Donkeys and Asses, Syria

Donkeys of the Middle East, Violent Warring Asses of Damascus…………..

         

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“Donkeys are adapted to marginal desert lands. They need less food than horses. Overfed donkeys suffer from a disease called Laminitis (inflammation of the hoof). Donkey fur is not waterproof, and so should have shelter especially when it rains. Wild donkeys live separated from each other, unlike tight wild horse herds. Donkeys have developed very loud voices, which can be heard for close to 2 miles (over 3 kilometers). Donkeys have large ears to hear the distant calls of fellow donkeys, and to help cool the donkey’s blood. Donkeys’ tough digestive system can break down inedible vegetation and extract moisture from food more efficiently. Donkeys can defend themselves with a powerful kick of their hind legs. It is believed that the ancestor of the modern donkey is the Nubian subspecies of the African Wild Ass which was domesticated around 4,000 B.C. The donkey became an important pack animal for people living in the Egyptian and Nubian regions as they can easily carry 20% to 30% of their own body weight and can also be used as a farming and dairy animal. By 1800 B.C., the ass had reached the Middle East where the trading city of Damascus was referred to as the “City of Asses” in ancient texts………….”

I have posted on this once before, but the time is more appropriate now to highlight it. Damascus is still the “city of asses”, more so than ever: the four-legged and the two-legged kind. And I mean on both sides of this bloody civil war. Whether it is the secular Baathist or fundamentalist Salafi. Whether the so-called regime Shabieha or Jabhat al-Nusrah or or Al-Qaeda or Jabhat al-Hameer wal Tiouss. Or the sectarian kidnappers of the FSA. Whether supported by Russia and Iran or supported by the democratic elected shaikhs of Qatar and Saudi Arabia and the world Salafi movement.
Some years ago, I used to think that Beirut was a city of asses (I know what some of you’re thinking: no, not only that kind). That was during their civil war. Now it is Syria. Speaking of jackasses: they rule all over the Middle East and I can……. oh, well, I think I’ll leave that one to another post soon.

Cheers
mhg

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Arabian Peninsula, Corruption, Saudi Arabia

Saudi Prince Downsizes: Sells A380 Flying Combo Mosque-Night Club-Ali Baba Cave………

         

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“Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, ranked #29 on the list of global billionaires by Forbes magazine, has sold off his ‘off-plan’ Airbus A380, according to media reports. Prince Alwaleed, whose net worth in March 2012 was estimated at $18 billion by Forbes magazine, ordered the A380 way back in 2007, and had ordered multi-million-dollar customisations to it, which made the media dub his aircraft as ‘the flying palace’. According to unconfirmed reports, among the customisations that Saudi Arabia’s richest businessman had ordered included a parking spot for his Rolls-Royce, five suites with king-sized beds and en-suite bathrooms with showers, first-class ‘sleepers’ for an additional 20 guests, a steam room for spa treatments and a marble-finished Turkish bath, a boardroom with holographic displays, a prayer area in which computer-generated mats move to point towards Mecca……………..”

That is a cute touch, the part about pointing toward Mecca. He ought to sail through the pearly gates, or our Muslim equivalent.
It is amusing how Forbes Magazine every year lists Al-Waleed (Male Born Baby) among the “top’ wealthy people in the world, without mentioning other princes and potentates who are even more powerful and more wealthy, as I have pointed out here and in others posts some of which are listed below. It must have to do with the fact that he is accessible to Western media, while the rest of the princes, the richer ones, hide away like bats in the dark.
It is even more amusing how Forbes every year notes that the source of the prince’s wealth is “self-made”. As I opined before: it must be all those teenage years he spent flipping burgers in Riyadh.
 
The Saudi Uprisings: Shi’a Opposition, Wahhabi Opposition, Lost Liberals

Gangs of Arabia: Oil Fiefdoms and Turf Wars, Ivanhoe and Isaac of Qatif

Saudi Legs and Bellies: Roots of Instability, the Coming Age of Warlord Princes

The Coming Brawl for Saudi Succession: a Kingdom of Principalities

Saudi Arabia: the Most Ignored Arab Uprising

Lion of Sunnis, King of Falafel, Pious Prince of Baba Ghannouj

Who is Running Saudi Arabia: Retainers or a Cabal of Desperate Housewives?

Saudi Mufti Diagnoses Arab Uprisings: Sectarian Fitna, Sinful Anarchy, Ali and the Umayyads

PR Nation: Saudi King Appoints Women to Advisory Council

Holy Greed: Paris Hilton Does Mecca, Takes Over Prophet Mohammed’s Childhood Home

A Saudi Timeline for Arab Spring: Omitting Bahrain and Qatif and Hijaz and Nejd

Impact of Lower Oil Prices on Gulf Potentates, Gross Princely Product

Gulf Poverty: Ali Baba and the Potentates, Shameless Hungry Saudi Kingdom of Arabia

The Mufti as Theoretician of Arab Uprisings and Activist of Private Lives

A Saudi Al-Basoos War on Twitter, Mujtahidd and the Royal Court

Saudi Activist Goes Mad, Claims All Princes Want Democracy, Wants Future King Tried

Battle of Saudi Succession Heats Up, Rectal Prince Promoted

Cheers
mhg

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Hezbollah, Lebanon

Hariri Ready to Lead Lebanon from Fouquet’s in Paris, Via a Palace in Riyadh…………

         

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“On the eight anniversary of his father’s death, Saad Hariri delivered a speech via video link from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia remembering the man and his legacy. The head of Lebanon’s Future Movement called on the Lebanese people to ensure the country’s future as a civil state in the upcoming elections. He vowed allegiance to the principles of the Cedar revolution, an event which ended the 30 year Syrian occupation of Lebanon. “We will run in the parliamentary elections alongside our March 14 allies and the Lebanese who believe in a civil state,” he said in an address to a rally commemorating the death of Rafic Hariri, affectionately dubbed ‘Mr. Lebanon.’ Saad, who currently lives in France.. …………..”

I suspect anything is possible in the People’s Democratic Monarchy that is Lebanon. He aspires to become prime minister of (part of) Lebanon in absentia (just as he was for his last year in office a few years ago). As I suggested a few days ago, he can use Go-to-Meeting or Skype to run his Saudi cabinet in Beirut from the comfort of Paris. No need to do a “return from Elba thing: he will not get the same reception as Uncle Nappy did two centuries ago. Hell, he can be sitting at Fouquet’s while chairing the cabinet meeting. If he gets bored with Paris, he can always fly to Riyadh for a day or two. One look at the dour royal Wahhabi bosses and he’ll appreciate the charms of Paris and fly back in no time.
Maybe he ought to have attended that meeting two days ago in my hometown on the Gulf. He could have gotten some pointers from Ayad Allawi (briefly appointed by the US as prime minister of Iraq by mistake). Then there was Fouad Saniora, the would be liberator of Solidere, or was it Saudi Oger?
Cheers
mhg

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Algeria

MENA Medical: Why You Should Never Faint in Algeria……………

         

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“An old Algerian woman who was presumed dead and taken for burial opened her eyes and woke up just after mourners placed her in the grave, prompting most of them to flee, a newspaper in the North African Arab country reported. The woman, in her 70s, was carried out of the coffin and placed inside her grave in the cemetery in the tiny eastern town of El Mahmal. When one mourner uncovered her face to read the final Koran verse, she opened her eyes and began to breath……………“Most of the mourners fled the cemetery while a handful of religious old men stayed there and called people back to announce the woman is still alive,” it said. “They then lifted her out of the grave and carried her back home, where the woman’s funeral was turned into a celebration.”….. .……”

Apparently it can be dangerous to faint in some places. Before you faint, make sure you write on your chest: “I am not dead, just fainted”. Otherwise, you might end up either dead or a miracle.

Cheers
mhg

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Arab Revolutions, Bahrain, Britain, GCC, Persian Gulf

Sandhurst on the Persian Gulf: Shaikh of Bahrain and the Battle of Mons Hall and Tending Bar at Claridge’s………….

         

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“Britain’s top military academy, Sandhurst, has come under fire for renaming a sports hall commemorating a First World War battle after the King of Bahrain. The Mons Hall – named after the 1914 battle where thousands died – will have its name changed to honour the Bahraini monarch who has given millions in funding to the Army’s officer training college. The building will now be called King Hamad Hall and will reopen next month after being refurbished thanks to a £3 million donation from the king, who is the patron of the Sandhurst Foundation but is known for brutally repressing demonstrators at home. Sandhurst has also accepted a £15 million donation from the United Arab Emirates to build a new accommodation block, raising questions about the college’s links with authoritarian Gulf states accused of human rights abuses………….”

Shaikh Hamad Bin Issa Bin Salman Al Khalifa, by the Grace of Al Saud arms and money and imported mercenaries from Pakistan and Jordan and Syria and and other places, King of Bahrain. Most of his people live in poverty since the resources of the state are taken by the rulers and their retainers. The regime now depends on financial aid from the richer GCC potentates. They use the money to import weapons and foreign mercenaries and to fund an expensive PR campaign centered in London and Washington. Notice how most of our Gulf potentates prefer PR and lobbying campaigns to reform and election campaign?
His un-majestic shaikh-king of Bahrain is reported to have bribed donated GBP 3 million to rename a sports hall at the British Sandhurst Military Academy, so that it will be named after himself. The name Mons Hall of the battle where so many died in the trenches will be removed, in favor of the name of a chubby little tribal despot.


I have read that Sandhurst has a special “soft” program for the sons of Arab kings, shaikhs, and other potentates who wish to be “graduates of Sandhurst”. It does not prepare them to tend bar at Claridge’s, but it gives their families the excuse to make them Field Marshals and Generals within a few months.
Why doesn’t Sandhurst follow in the footsteps of such other cash-strapped Western institutions of higher learning? Why not establish a branch in the Persian-American Gulf region for the scions of the potentates? If the Sorbonne and NYU can pretend that it has a “branch” on the Gulf, why not a Sandhurst on the Gulf?
Cheers
mhg

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Arab Politics, Lebanon, Nobel Prize, Saudi Arabia

Nobel Prize and Democracy: a Saudi King, a Gulf Banana, and a Good Lebanese Singer………..

         

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“Many Saudis have started to cast votes on a website to nominate King Abdullah, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, for the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Website www.votefornobelprize.com has asked people from the Middle East and Africa (MEA) to nominate the person whom they think most deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, with King Abdullah currently receiving more than 100,000 votes, which is more than any other candidate. Five nominees have been chosen from different MEA countries: King Abdullah, Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser Al-Misned, Chairman of Qatar’s Board of Education, Science and Community Development and the wife of the Emir of Qatar; Dr. Albert Dagher, Professor of Economics at Lebanese University; Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani, Emir of Qatar, and Majeda Al-Roumi, well-known Lebanese singer who has recorded many popular songs on the theme of peace. Many Saudis and non-Saudis have sent e-mails to their friends asking them to vote for King Abdullah, and a number of Internet forums have posted links and have invited people to vote for him…………….”

So most Saudis split their votes for the Nobel Prize between King Abdullah, a Lebanese singer, and the wife of the Emir of Qatar. Clearly they go for ‘looks’, or maybe entertainment, rather than knowledge and wisdom.
Based on this I now believe that the Saudi people are absolutely not ready for democracy and probably will not be for another generation. Speaking of Shaikha Mozah: I believe this is the first and only time a banana, even a ripe one, was nominated for a Nobel Prize. If I had to choose among those three, I’d choose Majda Al Roumi: she has a great voice and is highly entertaining, besides looking good (which is why all these Saudi men voted for her rather than their king). Besides, Lebanon has not had a Nobel Prize winner yet and is unlikely to have one anytime soon (especially now that Hariri has emigrated to Riyadh, the Bulgarians are helping the Israelis deny Nasrallah the prize, and Jumblatt seems still stoned out of his head).
I would have thought most Saudis would vote for the chubby shaikh (now self-appointed king) of Bahrain or maybe his ancient but nastier uncle Khalifa Bin Technocrat Al StickyFingers. But that is okay, some Europeans are nominating the next best thing in Bahrain: the Al-Khawaja family. (No, those Euros I mentioned are not David Cameron or William J Hague bin Yoda). As for the king of Arabia, nothing personal but I wouldn’t nominate him for a dogcatcher in Najran.
Cheers
mhg

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