I posted the other day, only half-seriously, about a black and yellow book titled “The Presidency for Dummies” to be read by Egypt’s military-appointed interim figurehead president Adly Mansour, General Al Sisi and Mr. Morsi. From that it was just a matter of hours before I realized that other countries need such a book. I scanned the map and my eyes stopped immediately at the Gulf (Persian Gulf not Gulf of Mexico nor Gulf of Maracaibo). How about “Gulf Dynasties for Dummies”?
“Gulf Dynasties for Dummies” could especially benefit the rulers of Saudi Arabia (although I don’t consider these rulers Gulf people). They can learn how to restock their inventory of princes: how to more quickly dump the older princes for newer models. They might want to cut back the mandatory 8-12 months between princely demises, make it 3-6 months. A crown prince should have a period of six months, maximum, to get to the throne. Otherwise, it is away to some New York clinic, rehab in Morocco, then adios Zapata. Within a couple of years, they’d have no choice but to pick younger princes to rule. Unfortunately that would be good for select branches (legs and bellies as they are called) of the ruling Al Saud family but it might screw the people real good. They’d be stuck with another generation or two of Ali Baba’s enemies.
The book might teach the ruling family gangsters of Bahrain about the Theory of Sustainable Looting. How to keep power and loot the country without help from foreign mercenaries (from Jordan, Pakistan, Syria, etc) or the Saudi religious police (Society for the Propagation of Vice). They might learn that sustained the looting of a country is more an art than an exercise in brute force. Especially a country with limited resources where every bit of land and every dollar of revenue and foreign aid should count.
Such a book might even come in handy for the ruling Bin Zayed Al Nahayan potentates, owners of Abu Dhabi and the UAE.
They have the advantage of safely ignoring about 90% of the population of their country: these are temporary foreign expatriates who don’t count in the political game. Most of them don’t understand or speak Arabic anyway (I mean the expats not the shaikhs). Not yet. All they have to worry about are the 10% of the population who are citizens. Still, they can’t seem able to handle these small numbers either. Hence the build-up of the special mercenary force of Colombians, Australians, White South Africans, possibly Israelis, and others.
Or maybe I should alter the title of the book to “Dynasties for Gulf Dummies”? Or how about “Dummy Dynasties for the Persian Gulf”?
Cheers
mhg