“Broken her heart
And I know I done wrong
But I pray
That someday she’ll forgive me
And remember
When I’ve sang
My last hillbilly song………..” Willie (Hugh) Nelson


“For the first time since the end of the Cold War, the specter of nuclear armageddon looms over the world, as the Pentagon announced yesterday that a group of hillbillies in central Tennessee has constructed a fully operational 50-megaton nuclear device. With this potential for destruction in the hands of people who have throughout history acted out violently for no better reason than family tradition, scientists in Helsinki, Finland, have moved the doomsday clock back up to one minute before midnight. Pentagon officials were tipped off to the backwoods people’s potential to invoke mass destruction last week when an I.R.S. agent returned from the Smoky Mountains claiming that a group of hillbillies had threatened to “nuke him up real good.” The bomb’s existence and operational status were later confirmed by a team of scientists who, after finding the weapon in a hay thresher, were run out of hillbilly territory by a family armed with a shotgun and three dogs named “Duke.”……….”