From Tehran to Doha to Riyadh to Abu Dhabi: Watching the World Go By, a Talent for Boring………….

     

     Summer

 

   Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter  
How the Arab and Middle East uprisings have caught regional leaders off guard:


  • Iranian mullahs go bi-polar and worry about the British. They did not say why the British, they never say, but I suspect it is because it is easier to sell “hate the British” than “hate America” to their people. Many Iranians have American relatives now. Maybe some mullahs don’t realize that Churchill is not only out of power, but has been quite dead for almost half a century. 

  • The ruler of Qatar continues to play his cards close to his chest (no problem there, a lot of space), realizing after watching hours of Qaddafi tapes that silence is more than golden. The Emir does get a petition for ‘reform’: I hope he didn’t write it himself, just to make things interesting for his surely bored people (they must feel that the world is passing them by).

  • Saudi princes had thought they owned the status quo: they had thought their people were winners of the Gold Medal for Conformity. Mufti Shaikh Al Al-Shaikh is so upset he may decide to take another wife (as will his cousin and head of the appointed Shura Council, one of the other Shaikhs Al Al-Shaikh). Friday’s Day of Rage may have fizzled in Saudi, only worked in the Eastern Province (al-A’hsaa, al-‘Hasa: you name it). The sectarian angle plus the loyalist Salafi shaikhs on the payroll plus flooding the streets with security men, carried the day again for the regime. For now.

  • I am beginning to suspect something about the Saudi people: the princes may be right, and many of them may prefer to see the world pass them by. That is a boring thing these days. I am not sure if it is the case for most of them, yet. Which means that perhaps the Saudi princes deliberately keep their people bored either by doing nothing or by making periodic public statements or by just doing things, anything. Some people are like that: they have a talent for boring their people no matter what they do or don’t do (Iran’s Ahmadinejad has that same talent for boring, but he is not quite as good at it as the Saudi princes, nobody is except for the Abu Dhabi and Bahrain potentates). I recall once watching a news tape of Prince Bandar Bin Sultan, and I had a hard time staying awake, and afterwards I did not remember any important points that he had made, if any. This talent for boring has so far served the al-Saud well, and it may safely get them through this year of revolutions, that and their guns.

  • The ruling family of Abu Dhabi decide to upgrade: from the world’s second biggest importer of weapons to the world’s first biggest importer of weapons in the world (as their foreign minister Shaikh Abdullah Bin Zayed Bin Sultan al-Nehyan may have said, or maybe not). They may also decide to import a couple of million more Asians, just in case. They are still up there on the boring scale, at least the top few of them.

  • The King of Morocco, and whoever/whatever of Mauretania, figure that the wind is blowing to the east and they have ample time to get ready. These last two have forgotten about the ripe rotten Algerian fruit that could fall at any time and sweep away Bou-whatishisface and screw up their plans big time.

Cheers
mhg




m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

The Four Kosher Shaikhs Saleh of Arabia: Stalking & Re-educating Protesters……

     

     Summer

 

   Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter  
The Saudi daily al-hayat reports that some Saudi clergy, who are “experts” in electronically stalking extremists have come up with a new idea. They are now focusing their efforts on trying to get those who provoke “disturbances” and instability in Islamic and Arab countries to accept their advice and what is essentially “re-education”.
 
The Shaikhs who have inspired this are all senior Saudi royalist clergy, including the Minister of Islamic Affairs Shaikh Saleh Al Al-Shaikh (damn, they have so many of these Al Al-Shaikhs in ministerial positions) and Shaikh Saleh Al-Lehaidan and Shaikh Saleh Al-Fawzan and Shaikh Saleh al-Sadlan. Notice how all four dudes are named Shaikh Saleh? Do you still think this is a coincidence if I tell you that Saleh is the Arabic for ‘pious’? No they are not some kind of a ‘barbershop quartet’; none of them has even been a barber either (they have been to barbers but not for their beards). They have all, the four Shaikhs Saleh, stressed that protests and demonstrations and sit-ins against the regime, even if they do not involve toking, are haram (taboo, not kosher) according to their version of the Islamic Shari’a.
The group treat these four Shaikhs Saleh, who are just doing the bidding of their royal paymasters, as if they are the three Magi coming out of the east to see baby Jesus.

Now I have my own fatwa on this issue, which I shall repeat here: these four Shaikhs Saleh, and the clergy stalkers who follow them, and the potentates who finance them, are all considered haram, tabu, not kosher, etc.
Cheers
mhg

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

Arab Uprisings: How the West was Won and Lost………

     

   
Summer

 

   Follow ArabiaDeserta on Twitter  
Arab and Western media had thought 2011 looked like a boring year, just a break between American elections while the world waits for the next episode in the Israeli-Iranian or Israeli-Palestinian novellas.
Until a desperate Tunisian youth (Bouazizi) burned himself alive in December, and most Egyptians suddenly remembered a skinny young blogger (Khalid Said) who was beaten to death last summer by Mubarak’s police thugs. The revolution started.


  • Now Arab and Western media are excited now, as never before since the 1979, or maybe since 1917, or maybe 1789.
  • Democratic Israel is upset, subtly blaming Obama and asking for more money and weapons to confront the threat of this new democratic Arab wave.


  • American officials are uncertain whether to be upset or not. They have shown bi-polar symptoms, a k a some hypocritical tendencies. They worried about the revolt against Mubarak and Ben Ali, welcomed the revolt against Qaddafi and heartily cheered the protests in Tehran. They ignored the lingering revolt against the dictator of Sana’a (Yemen). They seriously frowned upon the revolt by the people of Bahrain (I suspect they more than frowned upon it privately: they tried to play a game of chess whereby someone else suggests their moves). I knew that the Bahraini revolt would get no traction in the officialdom of the United States as soon as Mr. Feltman flew into Manama last week and spent several days. No statement yet from Senators McCain and Lieberman yet that, yes, “Today we are all Bahrainis”, and not necessarily “Today we are all al-Khalifas”. That is natural: a Western, or any foreign, power looks after its own national interests before it looks after the interests of the people, any people.

  • Tony Blair puts his middle finger to the wind, maybe to a British public that he thinks has under-appreciated him. Or maybe to the traditional mores of the Labor Party, whom he sold to BAE Systems and Prince Bandar Bin Sultan. He has an epiphany, and says the ‘uprising’ in Egypt has to be ‘managed’. Presumably by himself.

  • Silvio Berlusconi thinks it is all amusing and tries again to call Hosni Mubarak’s dancing ‘niece’.

  • Sarkozy gets chronic ED, so he calls for air strikes on Qaddafi in Libya (expletive self-censored).

More reactions later. Cheers
mhg

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

Multidisciplinary: Middle East, North Africa, Gulf, GCC, World, Cosmos…..