Ahamadinejad: the Return to Alternative Rock, Iranian GOP……….

 


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“Step up, step up, step up the sky is open-armed
When the light is mine, I felt gravity pull onto my eyes,
Holding my head straight (looking down)
This is the easiest task I’ve ever had to do
Reason had harnessed the tame
Holding the sky in their arms
Gravity pulls me down…….”
R.E.M.

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told reporters Thursday he was kind of getting back into old R.E.M. again, rediscovering his once-great passion for the alternative rock group’s first six albums. Ahmadinejad, leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran’s conservative political coalition, confirmed that ever since R.E.M. broke up in September 2011, he had been revisiting the Athens, GA band’s catalog and was once again really digging its earlier stuff. “Listening to some of those early albums they did for [record label] I.R.S. has reminded me of how great R.E.M. really was,” said the 55-year-old former mayor of Tehran, who is known for his rigorous implementation of radical Islamist policies throughout Iran. “Stipe’s cryptic vocals combined with Buck’s bright, chiming guitar hooks, Mills’ melodic bass lines, and the driving beat of Bill Berry’s drums creates this ethereal sound that just completely kicks ass.” “They’re basically like the original alternative rock band,” the controversial world leader and Holocaust denier added. Ahmadinejad confirmed he first discovered R.E.M. in 1986 after stumbling across Fables Of The Reconstruction on vinyl at a record store in Tehran. At the time a civil engineering graduate student who helped crack down on dissident university professors and pupils, he said he was immediately infatuated with the band upon hearing the haunting guitar riff at the start of album opener “Feeling Gravitys Pull.”…………”

Apparently he has had some dispute on this REM issue with the clerics. Not only do the senior clerics disapprove, conservative members of parliament (the Iranian GOP) may again threaten to impeach him. If he ain’t careful the remaining year of his career may go up the proverbial creek. But then again, right now it’s better for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to be true to himself: what has he got to lose? Just tell the mullahs to “take this job and shove it”.
Cheers
mhg



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History: al-Nahayan Take Aim at al-Afghani and Mohammed Abdu and British Intelligence and the Grinch……

 


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Shaky (at best) analysis from someone in the UAE aiming at the current ‘enemies” of the al-Nahayan rulers of Abu Dhabi: the Muslim Brothers and the Iranians. He is tying the Muslim Brotherhood to Jamaliddeen al-Afghani (who resided in Cairo for some years) and al-Azhar and Mohammed Abdu (of Egypt) and British intelligence and the Grinch who stole Christmas and the Wicked Witch of the East and the al-Nahayan (at that time they were busy killing each other for power).
He claims that al-Afghani was hiding his Shi’ism, which can be true but is unlikely at the time. In those days (late 19th century) people were not as sectarian as today, mainly because the al-Saud and al-Khalifa did not have access to the vast media they have now to spread their sectarian poison across the Muslim world (actually I believe the al-Saud were exiles in Kuwait at the time). It is true that al-Afghani and Egypt’s Mohammed Abdu influenced the later creators of the Muslim Brotherhood, but their teachings and writings are also claimed by some to have influenced Salafi thought (I doubt this assertion: I had thought these came from the Wahhabi doctrine. But what do I know, I am just an economist).
This piece is political (like my blog postings) and is aimed at ‘discrediting’ the Muslim Brotherhood (M by tying them to Shi’as and to British intelligence (who created the UAE) because the fundamentalist MB are having a dispute with the UAE rulers these days. Personally I don’t care for either one, but this is a transparent attempt by an al-Nahayan pen-slinger. Besides, he is accusing al-Afghani and Mohammed Abdu of being British agents at a time when the whole of the Omani Coast and its sheikhdoms, including the al-Nahayan, were under British control. As I said, the UAE itself was created by the British in 1971 (not necessarily a bad idea). (Speaking of which, whatever happened to the foreign mercenary brigade formed last year by the al-Nahayan brothers from Blackwater veterans and Colombians and Australians and white South Africans and other foreigners?)

Jamal-ad-Din Asadabadi (a k a al-Afghani), was an influential but mysterious character (both Iran and Afghanistan claim him) who resided in Iran, Egypt, India, Iraq, and Istanbul, among other places (including Europe where he visited London and Paris but most likely avoided the Moulin Rouge in Pigalle). He traveled for learning at a young age and influenced Islamic thought and the response to Western expansion and imperialism. Apparently he had a beef with Western materialism although he was not a fanatic like the Salafists or some of the Gulf Muslim Brothers of today. Whether he was an agent of British intelligence or the Russian Tsarist Okhrana or the Knight Templars or the Nabati Poets Diwaniyya ديوانية شعراء النبط, I have no idea. Interestingly the Jewish Virtual Library has a good but brief biography of him:

Journalist, reformer. A founder of modern Muslim anti-colonialism, he advocated a religious and cultural revival to counteract European influence. Jamal al-Din Afghani is considered to be the founding father of Islamic modernism. …….
Cheers
mhg



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Power and Risks of the Political Cartoon: Humorless Iranians, Humorless Arab Despots……

 


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“Fish and chips, sandpaper lips and a rainy pavement.
Soho lights, another night thinking of you.
Black cat, sat on a wall, winks at me darkly.
Suggesting ways and means that I might win a smile,
as you leave the place where you work until 12.30
and the policemen nods as you pass along his beat.
Sweaty feet, troubled brow we’re all in the same game, lady.
Life’s no bowl of cherries it’s a black and white strip cartoon…….”
Jethro Tull

An Iranian cartoonist has been sentenced to be 25 lashes for a caricature of a local MP, the semi-official Ilna news agency has reported. Ahmad Lotfi Ashtiani, MP for Arak, took offence to a cartoon published in Nameye Amir, a city newspaper in Arak. The cartoonist, Mahmoud Shokraye, depicted Ashtiani in a football stadium, dressed as a footballer, with a congratulatory letter in one hand and his foot resting on the ball. Iranian politicians, including Ashtiani, have been recently criticised for interferring in the country’s sports………. Shokraye was subsequently sued by the MP for having insulted him. A court in Markazi province, of which Arak is the capital, sentenced the cartoonist to 25 lashes – an unprecedented punishment for an Iranian cartoonist……………

Cartoons are the cleverest way to needle Arab (and Iranian) rulers and “almost” live to tell the tale. But they have their risks: you never see a cartoon of the Saudi king or princes anywhere inside Saudi Arabia, and you never see a cartoon of the most senior Iranian clerics anywhere inside Iran (Ahmadinejad is neither a senior cleric nor a prince). Some of the more audacious artists have paid with their lives, others have been attacked, imprisoned, and maimed.
For years the great Palestinian cartoonist Naji al-Ali needled the Fatah leadership of Yassir Arafat (as well as Israel) from the relative safety of Kuwait. He created the character of ‘Hindhala. The PLO reportedly applied pressure for him to be deported from Kuwait in the 1980s. Within a short time from his arrival in a second exile in London he was shot in the face and killed. Openly, some Arab media, as hypocritical then as now, claimed the Mossad had killed him. Everybody I asked knew that he was killed by Fatah operatives on order of Arafat. Then there was Syrian Ali Farzat who was attacked last year and nearly crippled most likely by thugs affiliated with the Syrian regime. No doubt there are many others I am not aware of. There is a clever Brazilian cartoonist (Carlos Latuff) whom the Bahrain rulers (and the Saudi security) would love to get their hands on. I doubt Carlos will be visiting Manama or Riyadh anytime soon. (Don’t even think about it: if they let you in that means they have a trumped up charge ready, like drugs or worse. Remember Egyptian lawyer Ahmed Gizawy. Remember Labanese TV magician Ali Sabat who is on Saudi death row for “sorcery”).
Back to Iran: twenty five lashes for a civil case and not a criminal case, and for a mere lowly politician, an MP! I suspect this sentence is very likely against some article of their own constitution (as are other travesties). I wonder what he would get if he had depicted someone higher, much higher and I mean much higher, than that MP? I am not talking about Ahmadinejad.

Cheers
mhg



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Horatio Alger of Arabia: Self-Made Prince al-Waleed Fakes Relocating to Occupied Bahrain…..

 


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Bahrain has become home to Al-Arab News Channel and its studios. Rotana Group has also decided to relocate its top executive management from Riyadh to Bahrain as per December 12, 2012, while maintaining its studios in Cairo and Beirut. Two agreements have today been signed at The Sofitel Bahrain Zallaq Thalassa Sea & Spa, in the presence of His Royal Highness Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal bin Abdulaziz Al-Saud. Information Affairs Authority President Shaikh Fawaz bin Mohammed Al-Khalifa sealed the deals respectively with Al-Arab News Channel director-general and editor-in-chief Jamal Khashoggi and Rotana Media Group Chief Executive Officer Fahd Al-Sukat. Addressing the ceremony, Shaikh Fawaz thanked His Royal Highness Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal bin Abdulaziz Al-Saud for trusting in Bahrain’s media openness, deregulated economy and technical and human competences. He wished pioneering Rotana Group and Al-Arab News Channel, along with their media and administrative staff……………”

Also sprach Bahrain News Agency, the least credible news agency in the Persian Gulf region. Which makes it the least credible in the Arab and Muslim worlds which makes it the least credible in the whole wide world. But it is telling the truth, sort of, here.
Read carefully and you see that this agreement is a meaningless political gesture to the ruling clan of Bahrain. The studios of the two networks will remain safely in Cairo and Beirut. Some executive offices will be in Manama (wtf that may mean). The princely partner of Rupert Murdoch, who has mouthed some nonsense about a “minority” in Bahrain who are against the regime, is helping out his family’s new acquisition, the islands of Bahrain. But how long will they keep it against the wishes of a majority of the people? The al-Saud princes will find out that in Bahrain they have bitten more than they can chew (a cliche but useful here).
The prince’s fortune is estimated by Forbes Magazine at about $18 billion. Forbes also claims that, like Steve Forbes, the prince’s wealth is self-made: he was a Saudi Horatio Alger (CanYouFuckingBelieveThat?). Apparently he was flipping burgers in Riyadh at the same time that Steve was flipping burgers in Manhattan. The prince has been showing some interest in Bahrain ever since his family invaded it last year.

Cheers
mhg



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Algeria’s Ouyahia and Albert Camus: Arab Spring as a Plague, about the Humor……..

 


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What was meant to be the highlight of the government’s election campaign – a mass rally in Algiers at the weekend addressed by prime minister Ahmed Ouyahia – seems to have backfired. Ouyahia’s speech was certainly memorable, but mostly for the wrong reasons. Harking back to the country’s independence struggle against France, he said: “The Arab spring for me is a disaster. We don’t need lessons from outside. Our spring is Algerian, our revolution of 1 November 1954.” Unlike the glorious days of 1954, the current Arab spring is “a plague” sweeping the region, he told voters. Its effects can be seen, he said, in “the colonisation of Iraq, the destruction of Libya, the partition of Sudan and the weakening of Egypt”. “The revolutions that engulfed brotherly and friendly countries such as Iraq, Sudan, Tunisia, Mali, Libya and Egypt are not accidental but are the work of Zionism and Nato,”………..

Zionism was behind the Arab uprisings? That sounds like the Saudi Mufti Shaikh Al Al Shaikh talking (or maybe the Saudi king or Muammar Qaddafi or the al-Khalifa of Bahrain or the Assad regime in Syria). They have all blamed “foreigners” and Zionists and drugs and even obsession with sex (Tahrir tents and virginity tests) for the uprisings.
Interesting
that he called the ‘Arab Spring” a plague , maybe he is a fan of Albert Camus (another native of Algeria). I suppose it all depends on how things turn out in the end (whenever that may be). Who knows how it will turn out in the future, but at least people are voting for their own governments in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya (as they do in Lebanon and Iraq). They are NOT voting for their own governments in Syria and Bahrain and Yemen and Saudi Arabia and the UAE and the Sudan. I may not like the government they vote for, most likely I don’t in these cases, but it is their choice.

Cheers
mhg



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“If I were King of Bahrain, I’d Burn You Alive Like Hitler Did to the Jews…..”


“Despite assurances from the Saudi government that it is cracking down on religious radicalism, the kingdom’s top clerics continue calling for attacks on Christians across the Arab world. And in the Internet age, these voices of hate have been handed a larger megaphone than ever before. You don’t have to look hard to find examples of religious intolerance emanating from the very top of the Saudi religious hierarchy. On a visit to Kuwait in March, Saudi Arabia’s grand mufti, Abdulaziz al-Sheikh, told the Revival of Islamic Heritage Society — which has been designated as a “specially designated global terrorist” entity by the United States and the United Nations for arming and financing al Qaeda — that it is “necessary to destroy all the churches in the Arabian Peninsula.” And there’s more where that came from. The mufti also believes that proponents of women’s rights are “advocates of evil and misguidance.” These sentiments are particularly troubling as Saudi clerics flock to Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and mobile apps to amplify their messages……….”

I almost burst out laughing when I read the first couple of paragraphs of this. These guys don’t know the depth of it: what they see is the tip of the iceberg. I wonder if they read Arabic, for if they did they would see the lowest depths of Wahhabi confessional, sectarian, and religious hatred. (What I post here is pussycat stuff in comparison). It is the kind of invective, against other faiths and other non-Salafi Muslims that one would not see in the most hateful Neo-Nazi literature or websites. If you think you have seen hatred in white supremacist or anti-Semitic sites and literature, try some of the Salafi garbage that is tweeted or published on websites or posted on YouTube. You would understand it only if you can read Arabic (what is posted in English is some mild stuff for Western eyes, what I call Salafi taqiyya). Like this tweet here (of a type that I read many every day, some milder, many worse):

ابوعزام التميمي@mohad_Altamimy


معليش يالرافضيه لو انا من ملك البحرين علقتكم بأقدامكم
وسكبت البنزين عليكم

واحرقتكم مثل حرق هتلر لليهود. واسجد لله شكرا

Translation:Alright you Rafdhiya (Shia’s): if I were the King of Bahrain, I’d hang you by you feet, pour benene (gasoline) all over you, and burn you just like Hitler did to the Jews. Then I’d prostrate to Allah thanking him Posted 7 AM my local time today  by @mohad_Altamimy  to who is a Bahrain human rights activist.

Arabic is such a beautiful language that it is a sin what these hate-mongers are doing to it, the use they are putting it to. Most of the worst invective and hate messages come from the Gulf GCC region, especially from Saudi Arabia and Bahrain. Many of it is likely typed in official buildings of these two regimes, especially Bahrain.
It is like a “good cop, bad cop” game the princes are playing with their tame palace clerics. The princes play the good “Westernized” polygamous cops who are reasonable, while the clerics show the true dark-ages and intolerant face of Wahhabism.

Cheers
mhg



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Saudis to Convert Fish and Scuba-Divers: Underwater Madrassas, Pigskin and Miswak, Freudian Towers………

 


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Saudi Arabia has built the world’s first underwater mosque off a northwestern coast close to the Jordanian border, according to reports in an Arabic newspaper. The mosque was built by a group of private divers from Saudi Arabia, who used plastic pipes filled with sand under the sea off the coast in the north-western city of Tabuk, Almadina Arabic language daily reported. “One of our colleagues came up with this idea last summer and we decided to carry it out,” diver Hamadan bin Salim Al Masoudi told the Emirates 24/7 website. “We have just completed the construction of the mosque… when we put the final touches on it, it was time for afternoon prayers, so we performed group prayers in the first underwater mosque in history………………..

My first inclination was that they wanted to convert Western scuba divers, before I remembered than non-Muslim scuba divers are frowned upon, especially inside a mosque.  Yet, it would be interesting to see the King of Saudi Arabia and his princes diving toward the mosque on opening day. I bet they can sell tickets for that opening event and recoup the cost of the under-water mosque.

Or

maybe it is built for all these madrassas of fish that the Red Sea is famous for. I am not sure how the Wahhabi Salafi zealots feel about all this. These guys are obsessed with wtf the very early Muslims did: they pretend they would do exactly as these ancient gentlemen did, some even famously rumored to eschew the modern toothpaste in favor of scented toothpicks (miswak). I’d love for them to give up other infidel things the ancients never cottoned up to: like Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.
Speaking

of miswak: I half expect the Wahhabis in my hometown may pass a law banning toothpaste, making it as illegal as pigskin (talking four-legged swine here, exclusively four-legged). There is no doubt that the very early Muslims (Sahaba and the others) had no interest in either toothpaste or scuba-diving, not even to get to a mosque. They even had a famous Arab verse around that time about a fear of dissolving in the sea (as in man being made of mud which dissolves in water).
We can chalk this one under “culture” category, I think. Or maybe “religion”. Or both.
(I think I shall soon post something Freudian about this mad race to “erect” the world’s tallest tower in Mecca or was it Dubai or was it Abu Dhabi………..)

Cheers
mhg



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Netanyahu Raises Chutzpah to a New Level: Hiroshima Mon Amour…….

 


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“They all said it would end the war,
And we thanked Christ for the bomb,
And the priests and witches all agreed,
They should die to keep them free.
The fireball that shamed the sun,

Burning the shadows on the ground,
As the rain falls to dry the land,
Leaving the desert for the thirsty man.

Hiroshima Mon Amour………………”  Alcatrazz

  
Netanyahu: Iran must commit to halt all enrichment in upcoming nuclear talks. In unusual move, PM invites Barak, Lieberman and newcomer Mofaz to join meeting with EU foreign policy chief Ashton, in which he accused Iran of playing for time and said world powers must demand that Iran take tangible steps toward halting uranium enrichment……….. On Wednesday afternoon, the prime minister met with European Union Foreign Affairs Chief Catherine Ashton, who arrived in Israel to brief Netanyahu on the preparations for the second round of nuclear talks with Iran………….”

It would be funny if it weren’t so outrageous. Here is the leader of a small Middle East country, one that has built many nuclear bombs and never joined the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT), and it is annexing occupied lands against international law. And he is “demanding” that Iran stop all uranium enrichment. He should be the last person, his government the last government that would talk about nuclear threats and enrichment and hiding and deception. Demanding: and European leaders actually listen to this charlatan and hustler! I can understand how they would worship him in the U.S. Congress: selling snake oil in some constituencies is an honorable old tradition that goes back to the Frontier days.
Now he is trying to set the agenda for the Baghdad meeting, perhaps hoping to provoke an Iranian withdrawal. That would apply more pressure on the White House in this year of Our Lord of Elections.

Cheers
mhg



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Qumquat of Qatar is Homeless in Manhattan: Too Many Al-Thanis, Sources of Money, Reichsführer Himmler of Bahrain………

 


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“But for one New York co-op, a $31.5 million bid wasn’t even enticing enough to merit an interview with the potential tenant. The prospective buyer also happens to be the Prime Minister of Qatar, Sheik Hamad bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani. He made an offer to purchase and convert two apartments in the co-op belonging to the late heiress Huguette Clark……… His cousin, Qatar’s hereditary ruling leader Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani, lives down the block. And the prime minister himself is also the owner of a 436-foot yacht, Al-Mirqab, which reportedly cost several hundred million dollars……….”
 
“But today, the New York Post puts the kibosh on those rumors. The Prime Minister’s bid for the apartments was rejected, largely because of his 15 children, two wives and large staff, the Post reported. But the kids weren’t the only thing that made the building’s co-op board squeamish….. In addition to the kid factor, the uptight co-op board put the kibosh on Hamad’s bid — which had been backed by Clark’s estate — because it was jittery about where his money was coming from, sources said. Board members were also concerned because, as a foreign head of state, the 52-year-old sheik couldn’t be held accountable for anything…………..”



Maybe it was nothing personal. After all, they probably would have rejected even Muammar Qaddafi as a close neighbor. Possibly even the Saudi mufti Shaikh Al Al Al Shaikh. But then again, these co-op, condo, or condom boards are finicky about who resides among them. I especially like that part about “because it was jittery about where his money was coming from.”, which tells me these co-op denizens in NYC know more about the Arab world, especially the Persian Gulf region, than we think. They all know these potentates get their money through very sticky fingers, that maybe possibly could be the money really belongs to the people of Qatar and not necessarily to the ruling Qumquats of Qatar. And this potentate will be moving in with fifteen kids? Which also means maybe three to four wives! Not exactly your normal NYC co-op family type where polygamy hasn’t been practiced legally since the Dutch purchased Manhattan four hundred years ago.
Imagine if a Bahrain ruling al-Khalifa potentate applied to live in that co-op? It’d be like having a hybrid of Al Capone and Heinrich Himmler moving in next door (and I am especially serious about the Reichsführer Himmler comparison). At least the Goldman Sachs guys don’t shoot and arrest and torture people. Come to think of it: imagine if any of our thieving Gulf potentates were to move in………

Cheers
mhg



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Saudi Mufti Diagnoses Arab Uprisings: Sectarian Fitna, Sinful Anarchy, Ali and the Umayyads, Al Shaikh Female Drivers..….

 


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Saudi Mufti Shaikh Al Al Al Shaikh (called affectionately Al by the princes) is famous for his fatwas and announced positions on various issues. That is what he is paid for. Now he has, again, blamed miscreants and sinners among Muslims for instability in the Middle East. In that, he is no different from some interesting American political pastors who blamed 9/11 attacks on similar factors (mainly sinning). 
A Saudi daily quotes Shaikh Al Al Al Shaikh that “what the Islamic countries are experiencing of divisions (fitna) and disturbances and insecurity are a result of their sins and crimes” The Mufti charged that mobs have been wearing the mask of “democracy and justice” in order to commit acts that cause injustice and chaos among Muslims. Shaikh Al Al Al Shaikh will promise in his next speech stability, justice, and prosperity to everyone in the whole Muslim world, as long as they adopt the Wahhabi absolute tribal monarchy model of governance and looting.
Of the sectarian divisiveness (fitna): nobody in the history of the Muslim world has pushed and encouraged and caused it more than the al-Saud dynasty and their vast media and their tribal and Salafi affiliates and their paid academic mercenaries across the Gulf, along with their Walis (satraps) in Bahrain. At least nobody since the battles of Ali and the Umayyad usurpers almost fifteen centuries ago.
 
About the Mufti (for new readers only): the Al Al-Shaikh (call me Al) are descendants of Shaikh Mohammad Bin Abdulwahhab, an old Saudi ally after whom the Wahhabi sect is named. They have had close relations with the al-Saud ever since and many hold high positions at the Saudi court and bureaucracy. I expect that when the Saudi king finally decides to allow women to drive (drive cars not their spouses) he will give the first franchise to an Al Al Al Shaikh chick to be the first legal female driver in the Kingdom without Magic (no, the famous Manal al-Sharif will not be the first driver: she may have the wrong surname). As I have repeated here, the shaikh is not to be confused with Mohammed Abdelwahab, the late great Egyptian musician, singer, and occasional actor from the golden (pre-Sadat-Mubarak) days of Egyptian art and culture who was no Salafi, Wahhabi, nor any kind of fundamentalist but a bon vivant in his own right.

Cheers
mhg



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Multidisciplinary: Middle East, North Africa, Gulf, GCC, World, Cosmos…..