Category Archives: Science

Imagine If You Can: a Bloody Middle East Science Day…….

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Today is Science March Day. All over the world people are meeting in solidarity with science. You’d think there is no need for a “day of solidarity” with science now. But we’ve come a long way backward, back to Ante Ante-Bellum, Ante-Galileo, Ante-Newton’s Laws, Ante Kennedy’s pledge to go to the Moon.

Science is being celebrated everywhere in the world, almost. Except for the Middle East. In some Arab capitals, and possibly in Turkey, imagine if you can that a bunch of enthusiastic young men and women gathered in city squares. They gathered for Science Day, not to push for the Sharia implementation, and not to denounce Wahhabism, and not to call for elections and free speech and an end to corruption. That would have been too much. They gathered just to celebrate Science Day, just imagine that if you can.

That is what could have happened from Riyadh to Cairo to Istanbul. That is what may have happened, had the young people decided to follow the example of their colleagues in Europe, Asia, and America. Imagine that if you can.

The dictators and the absolute tribal kings and the robber princes did not understand. To them a crowd is a crowd: a threat to their golden goose. The soldiers and the security goons and the foreign mercenaries, the men who usually crash down doors at dawn, acted on orders. In broad daylight. On this Science Day, Science watered the city squares with blood. Imagine that if you can, because you should.

Why is it that only Arabs, and some Muslims, risk shedding their blood if they publicly gather to celebrate Science?

Allies, indeed……

Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

Wyatt, Doc, Calamity and Beautiful Science: a Day in the Life of Trump Administration…….

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More recent potential Trump Administration news:

An uncharacteristically exasperated Attorney General Jeff Sessions has finally put Sanctuary Cities “on notice”, by yelling: Basta! (actually he did a combo Mexican-Rebel yell: Byeesta!).
Sessions also has temporarily changed his name to Wyatt Earp, and started calling Trump ‘Doc Holliday‘, calling Betsy DeVos ‘Calamity‘. No comment on Elaine Chou yet…….

For his part, Donald Trump asserted from Mar A Lago that: “I love Science. I believe in Science. I have here–> some beautiful Science to share with the American people. Wait for some big news on Science sometime next week, or maybe the week after. Will knock your socks off….”

Secretary of, er, State Rex Tillerson grunted again (at his usual speed of 0.5km/hr) that : “Eyeran represents an imminent danger to the United States national security, piling up their naval warships in the Gulf of Mexico, Oops, I meant the Persian Gulf“.

Rexy was leaving too quickly for a big man, as he is wont to do, when Andrea Mitchell asked if that means Trump is ready to start yet another stupid war. His parting shot was: “all options are on the table, we’re betting the farm on this one. The mullahs should remember what we did to Eyeraq! It took some fifteen years but we totally screwed up their country, our credibility and our economy. Created ISIS too. Never underestimate President Trump.”

Cheers
Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

The International Plot against the Egyptian Military’s Miracle Drugs………


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“Hepatitis C. Virtually all of the non-A, non-B post-transfusion hepatitis described years ago in textbooks were found to be attributable to HCV after its RNA genome was cloned in the late 80s. It is estimated that there are 180 million people chronically-infected with HCV. Detection is routine and the virus is therefore largely screened out of the world’s blood supply. But individuals who have received blood or blood products before this time may have inadvertently contracted HCV. HCV is less transmissible than HBV and usually involves direct injection of blood or blood-products into the bloodstream and monogamous heterosexual couples have a low risk of contracting it from an infected mate (CDC Hepatitis C Information for Health Professionals). Most of the HCV transmission today in the developed world is among intravenous drug users, while those who experimented even only once with injectable drugs are at risk of being infected (CDC Viral Hepatitis Statistics & Surveillance). There is no vaccine for HCV and there is no expectation that an effective vaccine will be available anytime soon…………..”

Apparently these people have never heard of the new miracle drug invented by the Egyptian Army under the leadership of Field Marshal Al Sisi. Actually it is a dual-cure for both Hepatitis-C and HIV (AIDS). A leading Egyptian military scientist promised this past Spring that you can shove the drug into a kebab or kufta and eat it and get cured. The whole miracle “kebab” treatment was presented with much fanfare at a public gathering, with speeches and with General Al Sisi himself attending.

Some media, nay all media outside Egypt, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and Bahrain had a field day with this army alleged invention. No report yet if the Egyptian military has plans to invent a democratic system that works for Egypt and the Arab world. But they do know a system that cures a country from wanting to go democratic.

Egypt Rejects Sisi Invention, Signs with Gilead for Hepatitis-C Cure……

Is Medical Pilgrimage in Egypt’s Future? the Army Says So about their Acne Cure………
Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

United Emirates of Disneyland: the Potentates Buy a Space Program and Emigrate to Mars……


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February 2014: “”Gravity” is just a film. Imagine a similar real-life scenario: Would there be any chance of survival? That’s a concern for the General Authority of Islamic Affairs & Endowments, or GAIAE, the United Arab Emirates’ religious watchdog, for anyone who wishes to travel to Mars. The GAIAE has issued a fatwa, or an official Islamic ruling, to warn Muslims against a Mars mission…………”

July 2014: “To date, there have been 41 past missions to the red planet, many of them from established space agencies, and only 16 have been a total success. To ensure that the UAE’s mission achieves its goal, the country’s newly established space agency will have to draw upon the lessons of previous attempts, as well as coordinate closely with international parties to ensure there is no room for failure. “The majority of things we’ve sent to Mars have failed,” said commander Chris Hadfield, the Canadian astronaut who was in the Emirates last week to meet officials from the country’s nascent space agency…………….”

Why not? There are rumors that the Bin Zayed Al-Nahayn Brothers who own Abu Dhabi and rule the UAE are planning a vacation getaway for the family on the Red Planet. Just rumors. Some people I know claim, rather hopefully, that the brothers may be planning to emigrate to Mars. Some would have preferred for them to opt for one of the Jovian planets like Jupiter or Uranus. Oh well……

So what have we here? A United Arab Emirates of Disneyland. A continuation into outer space of a trend toward phony culture and science (and politics). Fake Sorbonne. Fake New York University. Fake MIT. All the curricula ‘adjusted’ and watered down to account for ‘local culture’: you figure out what that means. Fake Louvre. Fake Vatican and Fake Kaaba (stay tuned)? Fake Army (imported veteran mercenaries). Fake population (7 million temporary foreigners out of a total population of 8 million). But not all of it is entertaining.
And now? The ultimate in scientific fakery: a fake Mission to Mars. No research and no technological advancement needed, all bought and paid for. It is like when you buy a Boeing airplane: you own the airplane, but you do not acquire the technology (well, you learn how to fly the jet and flush the toilet).

Now what is there they can get that NASA (and maybe others) have not got? Unless they plan to rename a mountain or a famous waterway on Mars after the UAE rulers.

Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

Egypt Rejects Sisi Invention, Signs with Gilead for Hepatitis-C Cure……


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“Prime Minister Ibrahim Mehleb attended on Tuesday the signing ceremony of the agreement between Egypt’s health ministry and Gilead, the US manufacturer of Sovaldi, which is used to treat the hepatitis C virus. The medicine will be available at 26 national centers for hepatic viruses, where treatment will be at the government’s expense. It will be offered at one percent of its international price, according to the health minister…………..”

It looks like the Egyptian government, appointed by Al Sisi, has decided to buy their Hepatitis-C cure from Gilead. They have rejected the Egyptian Army invention of the double cure for H-C and HIV viruses as develped by Al Sisi and his researchers. I guess this means they can kiss the Nobel Prize goodbye.

Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

Is Medical Pilgrimage in Egypt’s Future? the Army Says So about their Acne Cure……….

 


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Qatari daily Al-Quds Alarabi, published from London, and other Arab media have interesting medical news from Egypt. The Medical Services Authority of the Egyptian Army has announced an update on its magical machines that can cure HIV and Hepatitis-C. It announced at a press conference Saturday that it is postponing receiving any patients who are seeking to be cured from HIV (AIDS) and/or Hepatitis-C through the new machines the Egyptian Army had invented. The Army said the postponement will last six months, allowing for further experiments on a larger sample of those infected.

The Egyptian army had announced the new inventions with fanfare a few months ago, at a public event attended by the county’s leadership including Field Marshal Al Sisi. A General Dr. Al –Sairafy said they are looking into the best ways to apply the cures for the Hepatitis-C and HIV (AIDS)N viruses, using what he called the C-Fact and Complete-Cure machines invented by the Egyptian Armed Forces.

A medical professor of gastronomy and liver diseases at Ain Shams University at Cairo said the tow breakthrough inventions were developed over a period of 22 years. He added that “the cure starts with a patient taking one daily tablet for ten days, after which he sits on a machine that drwas out his blood the returns a pure form of the blood back into his body. This blood re-infusion is done one hour per day over 16 days………

With these great inventions, courtesy of the brains of the glorious armed forces of Egypt, the economy should quickly recover as millions from around the world make the pilgrimage to Cairo to get cured of their diseases.

(I must add here that this Complete-Cure sounds like a skin cream for zits, a.k.a. acne, rather than HIV (AIDS). The Fast-C sounds like a method of injecting a huge dosage of vitamin C into someone’s blood).

Cheers

Mohammed Haider Ghuloum

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

Thank You for Your Service? Coming to a Desert Near You: Robotic Sad Sacks………

      


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“The US Army is studying whether robots could take the place of thousands of soldiers. The US Army is considering replacing thousands of soldiers with robots as it deals with sweeping troop cuts. A senior American officer has said he is considering shrinking the size of the Army’s brigade combat teams by a quarter and replacing the lost troops with robots and remote-controlled vehicles. The American military is still far from fielding armies of Terminator-type robotic killers ……………………..”

Send Arnold Schwarzenegger out with them, that would be one way to FINALLY get rid of him. Out of sight out of mind.
How do you tell a dented damaged veteran robot: “thank you for your service” before leaving it out in the cold? You don’t: you can always recycle IT.
You know what will happen next, we have seen a version of this film before. Just like drones, every other nation will aspire to make their own robots or buy some, and many will succeed.
Finally a war without human casualties.
Cheers
mhg

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com


Archaeological Arabia, Jurassic Modern Arabia………

      


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“A team of scientists from the Saudi Geological Survey with the active support of Uppsala University, Museum Victoria and Monash University have uncovered the first record of dinosaurs from Saudi Arabia. What is now dry desert was once a beach littered with the bones and teeth of ancient marine reptiles and dinosaurs. The researchers found teeth and bones dating from around 72 million years ago in the northwestern part of Saudi Arabia along the coast of the Red Sea, according to the scientific journal PLOS ONE which published the finds jointly authored by participating researchers from Saudi Arabia, Sweden and Australia. Two types of dinosaur were described from the assemblage, a bipedal meat-eating abelisaurid distantly related to Tyrannosaurus but only about six meters long, and a plant-eating titanosaur……………..”
Speaking of dinosaurs? I would have thought any talk of ‘dinosaurs’ would be banned in the Jurassic Kingdom. In case the shoe fits, which it does.
Cheers
mhg

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com


Science: Of Testicles and Hearts……………

      


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“A recent Italian study has concluded that men who have two large testicles are more likely to have heart problems. This is an interesting conclusion because previous studies had tied the large size of testicles to increased fertility. The Daily telegraph reports that tow researchers at University of Florence have found that men with larger testicles are more likely to have high blood pressure and to be overweight…………”

It is logical, the causality is obvious: the bigger the testicles (cojones) the bigger the weight of the man who carries them. I also understand that male athletes who take a lot of Steroids tend to have their testicles shrink, but I suppose that does not mean their hearts are healthier than before. Unless it (the story not the testicle) is just an urban legend. It is also not clear if this conclusion applies to all men or just Italians like Silvio Berlusconi.
I thought my readers might want to know.

Cheers
mhg

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com




Saudi Manhattan Project, Tectonic Plates to Hibernate for 100 Years………..

   


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                          Neck of the woods
“JEDDAH: An expert ruled out the occurrence of devastating earthquakes in Saudi Arabia over the next 100 years. “Seismic activity underneath Saudi Arabia will remain normal and if any disturbances do occur over the next 100 years, they will not pose any danger as their magnitude will never exceed 4.5 on the Richter Scale,” said Ali Al-Shukri, head of the Astronomical Sciences Department at King Fahd University for Petroleum and Minerals. The latest tremor registering a magnitude of 4.5 near the Kingdom occurred at an undersea location 181 km off Farasan Island in the Red Sea on Sept. 2.
Satellite images showed that the Arabian tectonic plate and the African plate were moving away from each other, stretching the Earth’s crust and widening the southern end of the Red Sea……………”

Odd, but it almost never quakes in the Arabian Peninsula. It falls just outside the “Seismic Hazard Zone”, although the tip of the UAE is the only exposed part of as an extension of the active Iranian zone (speaking geological, not political). Surrounding regions, like Iran and Turkey get hit frequently and hard, but the Peninsula (and East Africa) is not affected.
This I couldn’t resist:
I suspect they are setting the ground for skyscrapers in Mecca and Madinah. And maybe in Jeddah, of course. Manhattan in Hijaz is a possibility, and the potentates are probably salivating at how many pious pilgrims they can squeeze in every year. They have already razed all the historic monuments of Mecca, like the homes of the Prophet and the Sahaba they claim to love and venerate, and replaced them with lucrative hotels, five-six-seven star hotels and shopping malls.

Cheers
mhg

 m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com