Saudi Cleric Declines Nobel Peace Prize IF Offered, Funny Royal Awards………


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إذا كان رب البيت بالدف ضارباً،    فشيمة أهل البيت كلهم الرقص

Speaking of the Nobel Prize in some of my recent posts: here is a new gem:

“A prominent Saudi Islamic scholar who was previously accused of plagiarism and famous for his best-selling book “Don’t Be Sad” (La Tahzan) has announced that he would reject the Nobel Peace Prize if it is offered to him. Sheikh Aaidh al-Qarni made his statement on Twitter after Saudi writer Ibrahim al-Majari wrote in a column on the daily Al-Sharq newspaper that the preacher deserves the prestigious award because he is “sympathetic to women’s rights” and because he stands against terrorism. “If those in charge of the Nobel Prize are unbiased Sheikh Aaidh would be the first winner,” Majari wrote in his article. The Sheikh, however, responded in a tweet saying: “I refuse the Nobel Peace Prize and hope the committee overseeing it will not put my name on the list, with many thanks to the writer from Al-Sharq, Ibrahim al-Majari.” Sheikh Aaidh is famous for his book “don’t be sad” (la Tahzan) which sold more than 10 million copies. But the prominent Sheikh, who has more than 2.5 million followers on Twitter, recently faced a credibility crisis after a fellow Saudi female writer and author accused him of plagiarizing her work in another book…………….”

About plagiarism and stealing. There is that excellent Arab saying, I roughly and quickly translated above as: “If the master of the house plays the drum, than no wonder the rest of the household would take up dancing
After a PhD (from anywhere possible) and millions of Twitter followers, the new unattainable Gulf chic is: the Nobel Prize (nomination not actually winning). There was a time on the Gulf when all kinds of potentates and their retainers and plutocrats and clerics showed up almost every day with some kind of doctorate. Not sure how they got them since they rarely left town long enough to read a book. They are still at it, getting them online or from places as far as some offices overlooking Times Square or der Kärtnerstrasse or Place Pigalle, especially Pigalle, although Place de Clichy would do as well.
Now the Nobel Prize is in vogue. I am beginning to suspect that every crackpot cleric, prince and shaikh and tribal chief in the Middle East has a website or Facebook account nominating him for some Nobel Prize (usually for Peace). I think there is a permanent site lobbying for Saudi King Abdullah; fine and dandy, but they ought to make it generic, just “Saudi King”: one never knows who will be king six months from now. I know one Gulf shaikh (and a major thief to boot, but what else is new) who has a website dedicated to “what great guy he is”: possibly set up by some minion of his. A prelude to a Nobel nomination for fleecing?

I was told by a Beirut (or was it Paris) source once that Foaud Saniora was thinking of nominating Saad Hariri (can one do that?), before he realized there is someone else who has priority, someone who has oil and pays the bills. I even know one Gulf academic from one tribe who nominated an academic from another tribe: I suspect with the goal of making himself look good and magnanimous and perhaps be considered for the Nobel Prize. I wish I knew how to nominate for the Nobel, I might nominate myself since I am mostly peaceful most of the time.

BTW: the princes give themselves a lot of prizes, usually within the family (i.e. incestuous). Prince X foundation awards Prince Y the kleptocracy award of the year. They, and possibly the rulers of Qatar, have probably offered to donate a lot of money to the Nobel Committee. Hint, hint.

New Doubts Cast on Bulgarian Accusations in Terror Bombing……..


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But European ministers who demand hard evidence of Hezbollah involvement are not likely to find it in the Bulgarian report on the investigation, which has produced no more than an “assumption” or “hypothesis” of Hezbollah complicity. Major revelations about the investigation by the former head of the probe and by a top Bulgarian journalist have further damaged the credibility of the Bulgarian claim to have found links between the suspects and Hezbollah. The chief prosecutor in charge of the Bulgarian investigation revealed in an interview published in early January that the evidence available was too scarce to name any party as responsible, and that investigators had found a key piece of evidence that appeared to contradict it. An article in a Bulgarian weekly in mid-January confirmed that the investigation had turned up no information on a Hezbollah role, and further reported that one of the suspects had been linked by a friendly intelligence service to Al-Qaeda………….”

There is no need for a “friendly intelligence service” to link the Bulgaria terrorist operation to Al-Qaeda. I noted early on strong doubts about the early Western media and “anonymous officials” allegations, given the MO of the terrorists. Even as Mr. Netanyahu was pointing fingers toward others. I reproduce some comments and my previous posts on this:

Netanyahu had been sifting through the news for a few days, looking for something new to pin on the Iranians, his usual accusation du jour. It had been a slow week: no terrorist activity, not even a major traffic pile-up disaster. His luck was about to turn. The right-wing Bulgarian authorities got it a bit wrong and blamed Hezbollah instead, but only because of the imminent European Union decision on its “terrorist list”. One day later the center and left-wing Bulgarian “opposition” struck.…….. Why do “they” insist on politicizing these investigations so openly and flagrantly, on aiming them toward certain conclusions? That only loses them credibility, even if their conclusions might be correct. That is just what happened to the corrupt and incompetent Lebanon STL Hariri investigation (remember first it was Syria, then Iran and Syria then Hezbollah then the Mexican Cartel then the Girl Scouts of Arabia). Her are links to some of my posts on this Bulgaria terror attack.……….

On the other hand, it is possible
that Hezbollah went totally stupid and decided to do a traceable
terrorist bombing in the heart of eastern Europe. On the eve of the EU decision on listing it on a terrorist list
. They have done a similarly stupid thing, in the summer of 2006. The Iranians once claimed that the Mossad did the Bulgarian operation, which is as stupid as claiming that Iranians killed their own nuclear scientists.

On the other hand, it could have been the irresistible urge to avenge the Israeli bombing of Imad Mughniyah in Damascus in February 2008. But the timing casts suspicion on the claim of the right-wing Bulgarian authorities. Nevertheless, many Arab leaders and especially royal potentates are holding their breath, praying toward Brussels, for the EU to do the Israeli bidding and “list” Hezbollah.

Bulgaria: Did Hezbollah Go Stupid at a ‘Convenient’ Time?

Case for an Israeli Attack? a Boy’s Wolf, Michael Oren, Deep Throat II, Salacious Pun

About Netanyahu, the Mullahs, and all them Plots

Terrorism: Hallmarks of the Bulgaria Suicide Bomber with a “Shaved Head

N Y Times and Anonymous Deep Throat Certain Iran was Behind Bulgaria Terror Attack

Terrorism: Bibi Natanyahu with Bulgarian Egg on His Face, For Now

Terrorism in Iran and Bulgaria, Netanyahu and Hitler and Danzig and Sudetenland


Controversial Film about the Prophet in Iran, Clerics in Mecca Pissed…….


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Iranians seem to have a knack for producing controversial historical films about ancient Prophets, with actors depicting these ancient worthies. Naturally any historical film in the Middle East, especially about the Prophets of Islam and Christianity and Judaism, is controversial. The Ten Commandments is still banned in all Arab states, but then so is Sodom and Gomorrah and Ben Hur; even Lawrence of Arabia is banned although I never knew T.E. to be a prophet. The last one was about Joseph (son of Jacob, not the carpenter), which had Salafis attack some television studios in North Africa for showing it. Among many Muslims, well among some of us Muslims, such depiction is considered blasphemous.
Among Wahhabi Salafis, any depiction or facsimile or controversial mention of any ancient character other than Saudi kings and princes is considered blasphemous. Iranian mullahs, apparently, are not of that “blasphemy” school of thought where films are considered.
Now it seems the “big no no” is being tested. A dusty organization called the International Association for Muslim Ulema (a bunch of clerics), wtf that be, has protested against the plans of an Iranian film company to produce a film representing the personality of the Prophet Mohammed. The clerics, located at Mecca, are pissed and have asked the Iranian government to prevent production of the film, to be simply titled “Mohammed”, and ban its showing. The ulema said that such film will besmirch the high status of the prophet and will harm his position and may even expose the Prophet to “ridicule”. The ulema noted that it is taboo to have prophets impersonated by actors.
No doubt the ulema have not read the script for the film (nor have I). But the ulema in Mecca are always pissed about something, except repression and the mind-boggling corruption around them in the Holy City and in the whole kingdom.
I think the only ridiculous characters here are probably these clerics who are afraid of anything new, of their own shadows. As for the taboo on actors impersonating the prophets, perhaps they can get a Saudi prince top play the role: he won’t be taboo. Now that Charlton Heston, with his cold cold hands, is dead.


Bill Maher and the Insulted Orangutans? Was Donald Trump Born on Borneo?…………


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                             Kissing cousins: wait till Orly Taitz gets hold of this

“A comedian, a millionaire and an orangutan. It may sound like the beginning of a screwball joke, but Donald Trump isn’t laughing. The famously outspoken real estate magnate has sued famously outspoken television host Bill Maher, demanding the $5 million Maher offered to give to charity if Trump could prove his father is not an orangutan. But legal experts say Trump is unlikely to get a dime from Maher, the host of the HBO series Real Time With Bill Maher, because his offer was clearly made in jest.”It’s parody,” said Bryan Sullivan, a Los Angeles entertainment lawyer. “You know Bill Maher is a comedian and a satirist. The offer is so ridiculous.” Trump, however, has taken the comic at his word. “Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan,…………”

But how do we know that this Fred Trump was not a native of Indonesia? Given that Orangutans come from the area around Borneo and Sumatra, both part of Indonesia, is it not likely that Trump Sr. was also an Indonesian? Possibly not very far from where Barack Obama himself spent some time as a child. Which raises the question of the true birthplace of Donald Trump and the genesis of his evil haircut.


After Saudi Arabia and UAE: Iran and Lebanon and Iraq and Azerbaijan to Invade Bahrain…………


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“Bahrain has dismantled a “terrorist cell” linked to Iran, Iraq, and Lebanon, the interior minister said, slamming what he called “escalation” in the kingdom as the Shiite opposition intensifies its protests. Security services “have, with the help of a brotherly country, arrested the members of a terrorist cell made up of eight Bahraini elements,” state news agency BNA late Saturday quoted Interior Minister Sheikh Rashid bin Abdullah al-Khalifa as saying. The eight “moved between Iran, Iraq and Lebanon and received training in using arms and explosives as well as financial aid,” he said. “Details about the case will be announced as soon as the investigation is completed.”……………”

A new terror plot aimed at blowing up the huge King Fahad Bridge with a sack of dynamite. Plots to blow up communications towers (according to Shaikhs Rashid Al Khalifa and Fawaz Al Khalifa, the latter the Gauleiter of media and communications. Possibly a whole passel of other Al Khalifa. No news of yet of any involvement by the Texan Arbabsiar or the Mexican Drug cartels.
But stay tuned.
Like a clockwork, always on time. The Al Khalifa almost regularly uncover the same plot over and over again, every few months. You’d think they are facing the Viet Cong or the Free Syrian Army of the Jabhat Al-Tibin. It is always a plot by Iran and Lebanon and Iraq and occasionally Syria (this time they left out Syria) with the aim of overthrowing the apartheid regime in Bahrain as a first step toward taking over the Persian-American Gulf then eventually taking over the West, as a prelude to conquering the world, (including Texas). The miserable Al Khalifa shaikhs are all that stands in the way of these plots and success. Occasionally these plots are joined by hapless American and European and even GCC parties, at least according to Field Marshal Al Khalifa bin Montgomery of El-Alamein von Rommel Abu Stalin.

These plotters are always countries with majority or plurality Shi’as that are charged. Yet they forgot to add Azerbaijan. They must have thought the Azeris are either Wahhabis or Russian Orthodox (some of them are but not the Haider Aliyevs).
The Iranians would like to influence events in Bahrain, perhaps meddle, no doubt. Everybody else is meddling, even the Pakistains and humorless Jordanians (through their mercenaries and hired murderers). But the ruling family and the Saudi occupation forces are providing the mullahs with their best opportunity in many years.


Europeans for Freedom, Democracy, Espionage, and Arab Police States…………


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“Mr. Muhafdha continues to fight for human rights even though the Bahraini government has clamped down on any opposition, intensifying its electronic surveillance. “No matter how I communicate, they know,” Mr. Muhafdha said in an interview. “The regime has sophisticated electronic surveillance equipment allowing it to spy on everything we do by social media, e-mail and phone.” In a bid to prevent European companies from selling such equipment to Bahrain, the Bahrain Center for Human Rights, Reporters Without Borders and other nongovernmental organizations took action this month. They filed a complaint against two companies at the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, which represents the developed economies. The O.E.C.D. has guidelines for “responsible business conduct,” including human rights. Its National Contact Point offices in the member states try to encourage businesses to observe the guidelines and encourage individuals or organizations to complain about questionable business practices. The two companies in question are Gamma International, which is British-German, and Trovicor, which is German…………..”

The regime in Bahrain keeps getting weapons, teargas, armored vehicles, and sophisticated means of espionage. In other words, everything the ruling Al Khalifa family needs to control the people of Bahrain and crush their protests. The Obama administration is selling them ‘some’ equipment while allowing allies in Turkey and the Humorless Kingdom of Jordan and Saudi Arabia to supply them the rest. The Obama administration likes to pretend to be taking the high moral ground, while it keeps the flow of the means of killing and repression going.
The British Cameron government is the worst offender: it acts as if this is the 1950s and 1960s, when British governments supplied the weapons and the personnel to keep the people of Bahrain oppressed by the Al Khalifa clan and their tribal retainers. The jailers and killers of Bahrain are now regularly received at 10 Downing Street and at Buckingham Palace and publicly feted. In Washington it is low key: they are quietly snuck into the White House for brief chats (I hear that sometimes they are met only by minor functionaries like the White House chef or First Dog Bo Obama).


Asses of Columbus Straddle the Rio Bravo del Norte, O Canada…………..


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“In 1495, the ass first appeared in the New World brought by Christopher Columbus. Shortly after America won her independence, President George Washington imported the first mammoth jack stock into the young country. Despite these early appearances of donkeys in American society, the donkey did not find widespread favor in America until the 1800…………….”

So what it says is that the donkey (ass, jackass) arrived in America with Columbus. I am not sure how many priests sailed on those three ships. Yet three centuries later, the asses had replaced the natives of the new world. More than that: they dominate both houses of the U.S. Congress, especially the House of Representatives. Not to mention that they dominate and rule most countries south of the Rio Bravo del Norte. And north of it: I almost forgot Mr. Stephen Harper of Canada.


Donkeys of the Middle East, Violent Warring Asses of Damascus…………..


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“Donkeys are adapted to marginal desert lands. They need less food than horses. Overfed donkeys suffer from a disease called Laminitis (inflammation of the hoof). Donkey fur is not waterproof, and so should have shelter especially when it rains. Wild donkeys live separated from each other, unlike tight wild horse herds. Donkeys have developed very loud voices, which can be heard for close to 2 miles (over 3 kilometers). Donkeys have large ears to hear the distant calls of fellow donkeys, and to help cool the donkey’s blood. Donkeys’ tough digestive system can break down inedible vegetation and extract moisture from food more efficiently. Donkeys can defend themselves with a powerful kick of their hind legs. It is believed that the ancestor of the modern donkey is the Nubian subspecies of the African Wild Ass which was domesticated around 4,000 B.C. The donkey became an important pack animal for people living in the Egyptian and Nubian regions as they can easily carry 20% to 30% of their own body weight and can also be used as a farming and dairy animal. By 1800 B.C., the ass had reached the Middle East where the trading city of Damascus was referred to as the “City of Asses” in ancient texts………….”

I have posted on this once before, but the time is more appropriate now to highlight it. Damascus is still the “city of asses”, more so than ever: the four-legged and the two-legged kind. And I mean on both sides of this bloody civil war. Whether it is the secular Baathist or fundamentalist Salafi. Whether the so-called regime Shabieha or Jabhat al-Nusrah or or Al-Qaeda or Jabhat al-Hameer wal Tiouss. Or the sectarian kidnappers of the FSA. Whether supported by Russia and Iran or supported by the democratic elected shaikhs of Qatar and Saudi Arabia and the world Salafi movement.
Some years ago, I used to think that Beirut was a city of asses (I know what some of you’re thinking: no, not only that kind). That was during their civil war. Now it is Syria. Speaking of jackasses: they rule all over the Middle East and I can……. oh, well, I think I’ll leave that one to another post soon.


Saudi Prince Downsizes: Sells A380 Flying Combo Mosque-Night Club-Ali Baba Cave………


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“Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, ranked #29 on the list of global billionaires by Forbes magazine, has sold off his ‘off-plan’ Airbus A380, according to media reports. Prince Alwaleed, whose net worth in March 2012 was estimated at $18 billion by Forbes magazine, ordered the A380 way back in 2007, and had ordered multi-million-dollar customisations to it, which made the media dub his aircraft as ‘the flying palace’. According to unconfirmed reports, among the customisations that Saudi Arabia’s richest businessman had ordered included a parking spot for his Rolls-Royce, five suites with king-sized beds and en-suite bathrooms with showers, first-class ‘sleepers’ for an additional 20 guests, a steam room for spa treatments and a marble-finished Turkish bath, a boardroom with holographic displays, a prayer area in which computer-generated mats move to point towards Mecca……………..”

That is a cute touch, the part about pointing toward Mecca. He ought to sail through the pearly gates, or our Muslim equivalent.
It is amusing how Forbes Magazine every year lists Al-Waleed (Male Born Baby) among the “top’ wealthy people in the world, without mentioning other princes and potentates who are even more powerful and more wealthy, as I have pointed out here and in others posts some of which are listed below. It must have to do with the fact that he is accessible to Western media, while the rest of the princes, the richer ones, hide away like bats in the dark.
It is even more amusing how Forbes every year notes that the source of the prince’s wealth is “self-made”. As I opined before: it must be all those teenage years he spent flipping burgers in Riyadh.

The Saudi Uprisings: Shi’a Opposition, Wahhabi Opposition, Lost Liberals

Gangs of Arabia: Oil Fiefdoms and Turf Wars, Ivanhoe and Isaac of Qatif

Saudi Legs and Bellies: Roots of Instability, the Coming Age of Warlord Princes

The Coming Brawl for Saudi Succession: a Kingdom of Principalities

Saudi Arabia: the Most Ignored Arab Uprising

Lion of Sunnis, King of Falafel, Pious Prince of Baba Ghannouj

Who is Running Saudi Arabia: Retainers or a Cabal of Desperate Housewives?

Saudi Mufti Diagnoses Arab Uprisings: Sectarian Fitna, Sinful Anarchy, Ali and the Umayyads

PR Nation: Saudi King Appoints Women to Advisory Council

Holy Greed: Paris Hilton Does Mecca, Takes Over Prophet Mohammed’s Childhood Home

A Saudi Timeline for Arab Spring: Omitting Bahrain and Qatif and Hijaz and Nejd

Impact of Lower Oil Prices on Gulf Potentates, Gross Princely Product

Gulf Poverty: Ali Baba and the Potentates, Shameless Hungry Saudi Kingdom of Arabia

The Mufti as Theoretician of Arab Uprisings and Activist of Private Lives

A Saudi Al-Basoos War on Twitter, Mujtahidd and the Royal Court

Saudi Activist Goes Mad, Claims All Princes Want Democracy, Wants Future King Tried

Battle of Saudi Succession Heats Up, Rectal Prince Promoted


Hariri Ready to Lead Lebanon from Fouquet’s in Paris, Via a Palace in Riyadh…………


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“On the eight anniversary of his father’s death, Saad Hariri delivered a speech via video link from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia remembering the man and his legacy. The head of Lebanon’s Future Movement called on the Lebanese people to ensure the country’s future as a civil state in the upcoming elections. He vowed allegiance to the principles of the Cedar revolution, an event which ended the 30 year Syrian occupation of Lebanon. “We will run in the parliamentary elections alongside our March 14 allies and the Lebanese who believe in a civil state,” he said in an address to a rally commemorating the death of Rafic Hariri, affectionately dubbed ‘Mr. Lebanon.’ Saad, who currently lives in France.. …………..”

I suspect anything is possible in the People’s Democratic Monarchy that is Lebanon. He aspires to become prime minister of (part of) Lebanon in absentia (just as he was for his last year in office a few years ago). As I suggested a few days ago, he can use Go-to-Meeting or Skype to run his Saudi cabinet in Beirut from the comfort of Paris. No need to do a “return from Elba thing: he will not get the same reception as Uncle Nappy did two centuries ago. Hell, he can be sitting at Fouquet’s while chairing the cabinet meeting. If he gets bored with Paris, he can always fly to Riyadh for a day or two. One look at the dour royal Wahhabi bosses and he’ll appreciate the charms of Paris and fly back in no time.
Maybe he ought to have attended that meeting two days ago in my hometown on the Gulf. He could have gotten some pointers from Ayad Allawi (briefly appointed by the US as prime minister of Iraq by mistake). Then there was Fouad Saniora, the would be liberator of Solidere, or was it Saudi Oger?