Al-Shamikha of Al-Qaeda: Salafi Women Discover Victoria’s Secret………

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The 31-page glossy, Al-Shamikha, which translates loosely as “The Majestic Woman”, features a niqab-clad woman posing with a sub-machine gun on its cover. Much like Elle or Cosmopolitan, it includes advice on finding the right man (“marrying a mujahideen”), how to achieve a perfect complexion (stay inside with your face covered), and provides tips on first aid and etiquette. Alongside sisterly advice such as “not [to] go out except when necessary” and to always wear a niqab for protection from the sun, the magazine runs interviews with martyr’s wives and praises those who give their lives in the name of the editors’ interpretation of Islam. “From martyrdom, the believer will gain security, safety and happiness,” it says. For those readers not quite ready for such a drastic step, it argues the pros and cons of honey facemasks and lobbies against “towelling too forcibly”.……

Don’t knock it. Women are women (just as men are men). They probably have everything that others do, under that black Salafi tent. Victoria’s Secret included. (No, I probably draw the line at things like leather and S & M and bondage). I liked the part about “not [to] go out except when necessary”, I thought it means “go out” as in “going out”, a.k.a “dating”. For a moment there I thought I had missed a Salafi fatwa allowing “going out on dates” when necessary. I thought of all the poor saps al-Qaeda that were sent to certain death and mayhem with a promise of all those delayed pleasures in Paradise, how these frustrated young men went partly because they could not see all the beauty around them, all the Victoria’s Secrets hidden under the dark attire. The least the master terrorists could have done was send them out to do “God’s work” in couples, couples with matching “belts”. That would have been an explosive date, the date of a lifetime, going with a bang, the puns intended.
(al-Shamikha also means dignified or proud, which apparently applies only to Salafi women who cater to Salafi men).