“You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world….” Beatles
A royal website has been notifying Saudi citizens, tweeting, that King Abdullah will deliver a speech to his loyal subjects (no mention of any disloyal subjects). It also said the speech will be followed by a series of royal “orders” (maybe be the English translation is “royal decrees”). Speculation has been rife among Saudis on the web about what he will say. I tried to speculate about what he will NOT say and do:
- Announce his abdication (retirement) and appoint his loyal nephew Bandar Bin Sultan as heir.
- Announce that the kingdom of Saudi Arabia will be henceforth be known as the Republic of Saudi Arabia.
Announce his “conversion” to Shi’ism and that he considers Ayatollah Ali Sistani as his marj’e (religious guide), until further notice.
Announce that he has been dabbling in the writings of Hegel, Marx and Lenin, in that order, in recent years. That he has become a Marxist, but an Islamic one.
- Announce that he is coming out of the closet: that he had been a secret revolutionary for some time now. He starts humming to the tune of Lennon’s (not Lenin’s) “Revolution”
Do a mea culpa, apologize to the people of Bahrain for invading their country and help shooting them down along with al-Khalifa and Abu Dhabi foreign mercenaries.
Announce that he is taking a cut in his salary, and that other princes have agreed to do the same.
Announce that every Saudi citizen shall get 1,000 riyal bonus (for being there).
- Announce that the government will pay the salary of one Asian or African housemaid for each Saudi family for a period of five years. Claim that he can get a better deal through ‘buying” bulk.
Announce that he is going on a long vacation to the Appalachian Trail (the one in Argentina).
- Announce that his maternal great-grand mother was half Jewish.